Page 8 of R&B Mixtape

As the water began to run and reach its correct temperature, I couldn’t help but think on the events from last night. I was going to keep my distance and approach her in a less surprising way but when I saw so many men surrounding her and Mya, the jealousy I had stored in me seeped out. She’d been the prize from day one and I damn sure wasn’t letting someone else come and claim her.

Out of all the women I’d dealt with, Harlow was the most qualified to handle a man like me. She was smarter than me and brought out the best in me. We were children back then, but she pushed me to mature and want to give her the respect she deserved. That was the first time I made someone a priority outside of my family. I wanted her to know she mattered.

I was praying she didn’t go far. I knew Low and when things got too overwhelming, she’d turn into that child that her parents had to nurture and console. I wanted to be the one she turned to again. I knew that would require a lot of work, but I needed her to give me another chance. I felt like the love we housed for each other was worth that.

Stepping underneath the running water, I allowed my thoughts to settle. The only person that knew her better than me was Mya. I would hold a conversation with her once I was dressed for the day. I knew she was probably still entertaining old dude from the bar, but I wasn’t requesting much of her time.

The shower lasted no more than fifteen to twenty minutes. I was in no rush to go after Harlow. She could only be in one of two places and one place I already knew the location to. I hadn’t seen her parents in quite some time but they loved me so I knew I could pop up without it ending bad.

I hopped out, wrapping a towel around my waist and handled the rest of my hygiene. Shortly after, I was dressed in a more comfortable fit. Mya’s room was next door, so I didn’t have to go far at all to figure out where it was that woman went.

I stepped out and quickly knocked. It went unanswered so I did another series of knocks to gain her attention. I heard her shout from the other side, and I waited patiently. To be real, she didn’t even have to open the door. I just needed one simple answer. She opened the door wrapped in a sheet and I knew she had old boy stay the night with her.

“Where is she?” I asked getting right to the point.

“What you mean? I thought she was with you.”

“Mya, I wouldn’t be interrupting your hoe session if she was. Where could she go?”

“Uhm, I’m not sure. She doesn’t tell her parents anything anymore so I know she wouldn’t go there. Hold on, let me grab my cell and call her.”

Nodding, I waited once more, and we ended up getting nowhere. Her phone went straight to voicemail, and I was becoming aggravated with her disappearance.

“Did she go home?”

“Hell no, that’s too easy. Let me check her location.” She scrolled on her phone and when I saw her facial expression drop, I knew that was a dead end as well. “It’s turned off.”

“Text me your home address so I could see if she went there to clear her mind. If she comes back here, call me.”

“I will and Cam… it’s good to see you chasing her. She needs that kind of treatment. Not saying you’re supposed to chase her the entire relationship, but she needs to feel important again.”

“She’s worth the chase. Thank you.”

I walked away feeling defeated once more. However, I wasn’t going to give up on her because she was the one that held my heart. I didn’t trust it with nobody else which was why the ring I bought prior to our reconnection was hitting her finger sometime before the weekend was up.

Harlow

“What are you doing Harlow? That man said he came back for you and here you are crying your eyes out in the middle of the park. Don’t you think y’all need to have a discussion without sex being the ending result for once. This is serious.”

I heard everything my mother spoke to me. I hid her from this part of me because I didn’t want her to worry but now that I could have another chance at love with Camden, I needed her opinion. I didn’t want my father to hear so I asked her to meet me here. I came to her since I knew it took both her and my father a minute to get it right, so I trusted her judgment on this.

“I want to run because of the heartache I’ve already experienced but yesterday… he gave me what I’ve been yearning for. I missed him so much Ma.”

My head rested on her shoulder as tears fell from my eyes. I loved Cam with everything in me, but I didn’t know if this was the right decision. He knew how much love I held for him and that wasn’t enough to make him stay before. What made this time different?

“Men are the most confusing beings to try and understand. They never express anything until it’s too late. When me andyour father were having our rough moments, my mind was made up but his wasn’t. I knew where I would end up and whose last name I would carry early on. It took him almost three years to realize I was the one for him. I didn’t rush or pressure him either. I let him make his mistakes and come back on his own. However, I was boo’d up with someone when he came for me.”

“What?”

“Girl yes. I didn’t stop my life for him, but I did know that whenever he came for me, I would leave whoever I was dealing with without a fuss. My heart never detached from him so although I was in a relationship, I always looked forward to him coming to scoop me up.”

“What happened to your boyfriend at the time?”

“I was honest with him from the jump. I told him where my heart lied and that I could never love him the way he wanted. He wanted to prove me wrong, so he kept pursuing me until I gave him a chance. He was a great distraction, but it never erased what I held for your father. See baby, some people just can’t be replaced.”

Cam fell under that irreplaceable category. His charming ways were etched into my brain as well as his gentle responses to my overwhelming moments. He knew how to handle me and no one else ever thought to give it a try. While I was happy for his return, I was very much nervous for our future.

“He explained why he left.”