Page 45 of R&B Mixtape

“There are two other bedrooms. Take one and get a goodnight’s rest.”

“I’m good where I’m at,” I responded.

“I’m not good with where you are. Why you starting shit Jay?”

“How the fuck am I starting shit? I want to lay beside my woman tonight. What’s the fuckin’ problem?”

“I don’t want you in here.”

Getting comfortable, I pulled her into me even though she tried to fight me on it. I wasn’t about to continue this back-and-forth shit with her. We came on vacation to clear our heads and get our minds right for the second half of the year. That went for work and our relationship.

“Tell me what’s your problem with me.”

“You don’t get to leave me and then come back as if nothing happened. You don’t get to pick and choose when to fuck with me or fuck me for that matter. I was cool with you being gone but now that you’re back, all you’re doing is confusing me.”

“Confused by what exactly? Because anytime you call me, I’m right there. Name one time I’ve made you feel like less of a woman or even presented any drama on your doorstep. From the first day I met you, I fell in love with you. I might’ve hidden my true emotions, but I ain’t never denied my feelings. I give your ass whatever you ask for and even allow you to dictate when and where you want to deal with me. If anybody is confused around this bitch, it’s me.”

“Why do you want to be with me so damn bad? I ain’t got shit for you Jay and the love you’re looking for?—”

“You know what’s funny, every time you get to lying, you get to avoiding eye contact and you rock back in forth. This is the moment for you to own your truth, but you’d rather take another route.”

“That is my truth!”

“It’s not. We just made love G, and I could feel that shit radiating off you. I told you I love you because I really fuckin’ do. All I want to do is make you smile more than you ever have before. Anytime I’m with you, I’m at ease, and when I’m not, you’re the only person I think about. If you can look me in my face and tell me I’m not the nigga you love, I’ll leave you the fuck alone.”

She stared at me as I stood waiting patiently for her response. She wanted to be so big and bad and act like she wasn’t down bad as well, but I knew the truth. She was scared and she had every right to be but shutting me out because you were afraid of your own feelings wasn’t going to sit well with me.

“Say it. I don’t know what the fuck the hesitation is for. You said you ain’t fuckin’ with a nigga so let’s hear it.”

I was antagonizing her, but it was only to get a response out of her. If she wanted to be done so damn bad, I’d grant her that. Her face became sulky as the tears welled up and her lip quivered.

“You can’t can you?”

She shook her head from left to right slowly with tears streaming down her round face. I laughed off knowing I was right. It wasn’t to make her feel any kind of way, but I knew my woman. I paid attention to everything she said, did, and how others made her feel. When it came to me, she was just as relaxed as I was.

“Come here,” I said extending my arms for her to come into. “Start by admitting that you love a nigga and then we can go from there.”

“I love you, but I don’t want to. I know how this love shit works and I’m tired of it ending up one sided. I’ve played the fool too many times and to avoid another heartbreak, it’s easier to stay unattached.”

“What, you think I’m going to hurt you? Cause that’s the last thing I want to do, and I refuse to let anybody else do it. I ain’t played with or about you since you let a nigga in your life. I ain’t trying to disturb your world baby, I just want to be your plus one. You know how I’m coming so why even act like this.”

“Because this is new to me Jay. You followed me to Italy bro, like who does that. I was so happy to see you, but I don’t know how to love you back. How are we supposed to deal with that?”

“I’ll shower you with love and you take pointers. You’re not cold Gia so stop trying to be. I’ll drive the boat in the love department and if you have your days where you want to take over then do it. I won’t stop you. If you’re willing to grow with me, then we straight. I got us.”

“You sure?”

“I don’t talk for fun baby. You know that.”

I kissed the top of her head before we climbed back into bed. This time, she placed her body under mine without me having to ask. She was a teddy bear, and I was here to hug and kiss her body and soul so that she knew and understood she was loved. Ididn’t want anything in return to be truthful. I had enough love for the both of us.

&

Walking into the kitchen the next morning with my lady attached to my hip, we received approving glares from everyone. I smiled at their reaction because I was sure they heard us going at it all night.

“Didn’t expect either one of you to have energy this morning. I guess I was wrong,” Aron said with this cheesy ass grin on her face.

“Mind your business lil girl. Kane get your woman.”