Page 43 of R&B Mixtape

“We all are but I thought we could enjoy a drink together. What’s on your mind?”

“Jason and all his empty promises.”

She made a confused face before she came and sat next to me. Arin was the friend that kept it all the way hot with you no matter what or who was involved. I appreciated her honesty even when I didn’t want to hear it.

“Now, I’m not the smartest but I’m pretty sure my friend has fallen in love with a man again. It’s okay if you have, you deserve happiness.”

I put the pillow over my face because I knew I was in love with Jason, but I was trying not to admit it. I was in denial because admitting my truth seemed like a harder pill to swallow. Both Jason and Arin were calling me out on my bullshit,and it was agonizing to hear. I deserved happiness but I was aggravated with the process of gaining it. I was simply adjusting.

“I’m good with how things are.”

“You and I both know that’s a lie. You were just in the airport whining about this man not saying anything to you before this trip and now that he’s here, you’re showing no interest. I’m all for dogging these niggas but Kane is a good one and so is Jason. Treat him with a little more respect.”

“Bitch, you were just talking about doing you while you were here but now that I called your nigga you want to be all lovey dovey. Girl, get the hell out my face and take your own advice.”

I waved her off as I began to search for something to watch. She was throwing stones when she was living in a glass house herself. I’d never disrespected Jay because I knew the kind of man he was. However, I didn’t want to fall down another rabbit hole looking over my shoulder waiting for the bad to happen. Staying detached from him would prevent that.

“I am taking my own advice. I cut my side pieces off while we were on the beach. Kane texted from the plane saying he was a few hours away and that made me think a lot. No other nigga is willing to fly across the world just to spend time with me, he is. Toya put me in my place and now I’m doing the same for you. I’d be wrong if I didn’t. Give my future brother-in-law a chance.”

I rolled my eyes to the ceiling showing my lack of interest in this conversation. The only person that deserved my explanation and why I was afraid to truly commit was Jason. I loved Arin butputting me in my placedidn’t do what she thought it would.

“I said no thanks to the drink already. Can I have some privacy now?” I was tired of talking about my love life.

“You putting me out because you know I’m right. It’s whatever though. Sip on this and think about what I said.”

She placed the chilled drink on the nightstand and exited the same way she entered. It was a relief because I was on the vergeof dismantling our friendship. Somewhere along the line, Jason had become a sore subject to discuss. He was causing me to be in my feelings more than I ever had behind a man and that was scaring the fuck out of me.

Jason

Iwas well aware of the issues Gia was battling with. She was oblivious to how her past dictated her treatment toward me. No woman declined a good man unless it was something she wasn’t used to and was scared of fuckin’ it up, so her only response was to be distant. I was raised by a single woman, and I witnessed my mother do it to my stepfather before she realized he wasn’t like the last.

My intentions were good when it came to Gia. She’d been the only woman to hold my interest and get genuine love from me. I didn’t take relationships seriously until I met her, so I understood why she was so hesitant. However, I wasn’t here to do anything but make her happy. This woman had a hold over me I couldn’t explain.

“Hey Jay, you good?” Toya interrupted my train of thought as she came to sit beside me on the patio steps. She handed over a shot of brown and I accepted it throwing it back immediately.

“Yeah, I’m straight. Y’all get settled yet?”

“Somewhat. Why you out here all alone? Is everything okay with you and Gia?”

“I don’t even know if I can answer that truthfully. I’m hoping this shit will pass and she let a nigga in.”

“She’s loved but never received it. You have to give her a minute to adjust. She’s the sweetest one out of all of us so give her a break.”

I remained silent as she sipped on her mixed drink. Gia was cold but that was her defense mechanism due to the damage caused by others. I believed she was ready for reciprocated energy, but she didn’t want to chance another letdown.

“I see the way you look at her, as well as treat her. Go get your woman Jay. She’s stubborn but I promise you’re the one that can change her mind. I’m heading upstairs. Goodnight.”

She disappeared leaving me by myself. I didn’t stay behind too much longer. I planned on discussing and expressing my love for her all night long. Although that jet lag had us all worn out, I was going to make it to where she wasn’t able to move a muscle within the next twenty-four hours.

I headed back inside to the room that was stationed next to Gia’s. There was no bathroom inside, so I gathered all my bags and made the decision to sleep in the room with my woman. Afterall, she was still the woman occupying that position.

I didn’t bother to knock as I entered her bedroom. When there was no response to me entering, I realized she was sleeping. I hated what I was about to do because I knew she was tired, but I needed some more loving from my woman.

I dropped the bags off in the closet with plans to sleep just as bare as she was. The bathroom smelled of Dove and Dr. Bronner’s soap. I was sure that shower did everything it was supposed to do when it came to relaxing her body. She preferred the temperature to be a hundred degrees Fahrenheit anyway.

Closing the door behind me, I started the shower then began to wash my face and handle my mouth. Afterward, I hopped in the shower expecting to be granted that same experience. The hot water hit my body and the muscles in my body began to relax immediately. I released a deep breath as my eyes closed in relief.The warm water was pleasing to my body. I spent around twenty minutes underneath the water before I finally stepped out. I felt fresh and rejuvenated.

Grabbing the towel from the shelf, I proceeded to dry off before stepping back into the bedroom. The first thing I did was look in Gia’s direction. She was still sound asleep but had changed positions. She was now on her back with one leg cocked up. I looked at it as an invitation to munch.