Page 3 of R&B Mixtape

I handed over my phone and allowed her to examine it. When she looked down, her eyes were soft and sympathetic. I didn’t understand why it was so hard to get this man out of my system. It had been years and still he made no progression.

“Get up. We were in a good mood and we’re going to stay that way.”

She extended her hand requesting mine, and I slowly placed mine inside hers. I knew how she wanted to keep me in good spirits, so I was going to try and revert to the state I was in before seeing the post. Cam couldn’t have this day. It was dedicated to Mya already.

“Okay.” I quickly swiped away the rest of the tears and tried my best to shake off the painful feeling. “I can do th…”

I broke down and Mya wrapped me in her arms. I hated how into him I was, but I thought about him every day wishing that he would come back and love me the way he used to. He left me in turmoil, and I still wanted him to be the one to rescue me from the misery he bestowed upon me.

“Damn friend. Why did you have to fall in love with him? I warned you what could happen, and you didn’t listen.”

She was trying not to bluntly sayI told you sobut that was exactly what she did before I even knew his name. She knew about Cam and Ace and gave me the rundown so that my heart wouldn’t get broken and despite the warning, I was still head over heels for him.

When I saw him crossing the courtyard, my eyes would search for him until they found their target. Cam was so damn fine that his chocolate covered skin complimented the chiseledfeatures and dark eyes he carried. I latched on to him without knowing what he was about and had been stuck ever since.

He left for a reason and everything in me wanted to have just one conversation to understand why I couldn’t go with or why I wasn’t worth an explanation. He would whisper sweet nothings in my ear daily and cater to me like I mattered. I was held captive and wanted a release so that I could breathe again.

“He matured me, Mya. I had no choice but to fall in love. You gave me stories on him, but that man was gentle, caring, attentive, and loving toward me. He fed my soul and then left as if I could survive without him. It hurts friend.” No one knew the real pain, as well as love I was harboring for him.

“I know and I’m sorry for not being able to understand what you’re going through. However, we’re not going to do this all day. I meant what I said Harlow, so get yourself cleaned up. We’re having a good time this weekend and if I have to pump you full of alcohol just to achieve it, then so be it.”

“No need. I’ll get it together. Give me a minute please and I’ll be ready to roll. I’m sorry for not keeping my tears under control.”

“You don’t ever have to apologize for being human. We all go through it. Go get cleaned up. I’ll be waiting.”

Nodding, I headed for the downstairs bathroom to fix myself up. I had no business shedding tears behind someone who left me behind, but it was where my heart positioned itself. I knew there was a possibility he moved on, but I didn’t want that to be the reality. I was used to him and only him. He was my first and last man I loved.

I looked in the mirror and saw how my joy had been drained. Cam was someone I needed to get rid of in order to get back to me. I lost myself in him and when he left, he took my light with him. I used to be a fun and active person, but he changed all of that. I wanted nothing to do with the world.

Mya was being patient with me and allowing me to have my moment. Hanging out with me was something she was excited about and me in return, so I was pulling myself together for her. We deserved a stress-free night, hell, weekend, and she went out her way to make it happen. I wasn’t going to ruin this with my sadness.

Shaking off the feeling, I splashed water on my face to wake the hell up and snap back to reality. Once, I pushed Cam to the back of my mind, I was ready for Mya. I walked back out with a smile on my face hoping that if I wore it long enough then maybe it could bring some happiness to my life.

“I’m ready friend. Let’s go shopping.”

“Are you sure? I don’t want to force you to do anything you’re not in the mood for.”

“I promise you; you’re getting my time today and we’re doing everything you have planned for us this weekend. I am dedicating the next seventy-two hours to you.”

Her smile was back and bright as ever. She threw her arms around me and squeezed me tightly. All I wanted was to be there for her the way she always was for me. Without her, I probably would be in someone’s psychiatric hospital. She grounded me and I was thankful for her.

“Thank you bestieeeee!” she squealed.

“You’re welcome, now let’s go before it gets crowded. I’m sure it’s full of black folk last-minute shopping the way we always do.”

“Matter of fact, how about we pack a quick bag and go to the hotel from the mall. I feel like if we come back to this house, we might not make it back out.”

“Cool with me.”

We headed upstairs to our separate bedrooms and prepared for the weekend. I threw things in for the club, a good lunch outing, and two sets of casual clothing. I figured I’d give her myall and since I knew her well, she was going to want to club, go to a fancy dinner and just relax.

Once I was done, I carried my belongings down the steps and waited patiently. While doing so, I went and deleted Facebook as well as Instagram off my phone. I would be tempted to scroll through them as long as they were accessible, and I wasn’t trying to have another meltdown. Out of sight out of mind was what I was trying to do.

Shortly after, Mya came down with a suitcase of her own with the biggest smile on her face. I loved to see her happy. Even though she was a year older than me, I still strived to please her.

“Okay bestie, are you sure you’re up for this?” She was double checking because I changed my mind at the drop of a dime often.

“I gave you my word, Mya. I’m all yours this weekend. Let’s go.”