Page 27 of R&B Mixtape

“I see you and I see genuine happiness. You beat me to the punch and although I’m so happy for you, I can’t help but be envious of being loved. I would never do anything to sabotage anything in your life, but all of this makes me want something of my own as well. Don’t hate me or develop anger in your heart toward me because I love you dearly. I’m simply expressing where my feelings are.”

“I understand and I could never hate you, Charmaine. You’ve done so much for me that that’s not even an option. The way that I’ve seen you grow in relationships lets me know that your next will be your fairytale. Your happy ending is coming big sis. Trust me on that.”

“Thank you, munchkin. I’m sorry to leak this out one of your big days,” I apologized.

“Hey, this little one isn’t here yet, so I don’t have too much to stress about but you’re in front of me and I’ll always be concerned about you emotionally and mentally.”

Getting up from my chair, I walked over and engaged in a sisterly hug. She meant the world to me and having her back was something I couldn’t drop the ball on. It felt good to knowthat she appreciated me in the same ways I did her. I gave her my all and she returned the love by listening and becoming dependable.

“Knock, knock. Hi, ladies.”

“Dr. Long, it’s good to see you again,” I greeted her.

“You as well Charmaine. How excited are we to find out the gender to this little one?” she inquired with the biggest smile on her face while she washed her hands.

“I’m so freaking nervous. She wants a boy and it’ll be something if all odds are against me on this,” I replied.

“I get first dibs since I’m the one carrying this child. Remember that if you don’t remember nothing else,” Willow commented.

“Well, lay back for me and let’s see who’s walking away with the victory. This gel might be a little cold, but I gave instructions to the nurse to warm it up a little. Just a heads up in case it slipped her mind.”

Willow got comfortable on the table, and I took her hand in mine as the doctor got situated. I knew deep down that I had a nephew instead of a niece, but I was hoping my gut feeling was wrong. Willow lifted her shirt so her stomach was accessible and looked at me with those big eyes that could make anyone love her.

“Here we go,” Dr. Long voiced as she grabbed the ultrasound wand. “What are you leaning toward, Willow?”

“A boy. I think I can handle that.”

I looked at the screen intensely and automatically knew the gender when I saw a sack on the screen. It couldn’t be missed. It was like he wanted to prove to me that I had to have my own child if I wanted a girl running around this family.

“Congratulations sis’. It seems as if you got your wish,” I said kissing the back of her hand.

“What?”

“She’s right, Willow. You are having a baby boy. He has his legs wide open for you to see.”

I was happy either way because I knew the kind of person Willow was which meant I knew the kind of mother she would be. She worked hard on her accomplishments so I knew this would be something else she tackled with ease. And I still planned on being that aunt and sister that was there for it all.

Shortly after her appointment, we were stopping to get food because she was eager to get to her husband and share the good news. I ended up dropping her off to him before hitting the road. Where I was headed was going to take up a few hours of my time, so I prepared myself as I took the exit joining the traffic on the highway.

Naeem

Meeting up with Sunny had become somewhat of an event that could go left at any given moment. She wanted her old life back and I wasn’t giving her access to it anymore. I had outgrown the toxicity that held me hostage for years and gravitated to wanting consistent peace, which was why I moved into my family home in the mountains.

Being so far away from town and engaging in nature did it for me. I was in the streets heavy while I was in the city limits which brought on fast money as well as headaches. However, I was proud of my growth. I was no longer a boy intrigued with material things but a man that knew the value of things instead. Like, generational wealth.

“Daddy, Daddy!”

I turned around and saw my sweet girl sprinting toward me. Seeing her face always made my days better than before. She was the ray of light that kept me motivated to do better.

“Hi, baby girl. I missed you.” I kneeled so that we could engage in a hug.

So much time had passed by from our last encounter. That was Sunny taking advantage of the fact that she controlled her. I didn’t like it, but I refused to sit in anyone’s courthouse. My timewith her physically was shallow compared to how often we spoke on the phone. I wasn’t denied those calls, so I settled for that until I was able to get her again.

“Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day. Did you get me something?”

“We’ll have to wait and see. You ready to go?” She nodded her head wildly as I grabbed a buggy. The weather called for heavy snow to start later, and I wanted to grab a few things that could keep us afloat.

“I know you see me standing here. We don’t speak anymore?”