Page 21 of R&B Mixtape

After placing a kiss on her neck, I apologized. “My bad, princess. It won’t happen again.”

Silence found us as she stayed wrapped up in my arms. I could admit that it felt nice, but this wasn’t our reality. She was hurting and needed comfort but when this shit was over, she was going to go on about her day as if she didn’t see a nigga heart on his sleeve.

“Remember when we were kids, and your mom would make us little heart shaped cookies and tell us we were made for each other… I miss those days.”

“I asked her to make me a specific one to give to you and instead of you saying yes, you said no, and laughed like I was the butt of the joke. That hurt my feelings you know.”

“It did not.” She slapped my arm and laughed it off.

“It did. I learned how to keep my heart guarded and not even tap into my feelings anymore. You shut me down and that changed me in so many ways.”

She turned around to face me and when she seen how serious I was, I received a sympathetic glare. She wasn’t perfect and neither was I, but we meshed well and before she allowed us to even grow and mature together, she said fuck me and went on doing her.

“Really? I’m sorry Prez. We were ten and I didn’t know what a boyfriend was at the time. Why would you carry something like that for so long without speaking on it?”

“All it takes is for you to say no one time and I’m done trying. I wasn’t going to pressure you or make you love me the same way I loved you.”

“That’s not how it’s supposed to be, and you know it. We’ve been each other’s priority for how long and you thought the best thing to do was hide your real intentions for me. And since when did your infatuation with me become love?”

“The only thing I’m infatuated with is your intelligence other than that, a nigga is in love with everything about you. When we moved next door to y’all, I begged my mom to go and play in your sandbox. She asked Ms. Lynn and after that, we met up in the sandbox every day.”

“We damn sure did. Rain, sleet, or snow, your behind was in my backyard eating up all my snacks.”

“What started out as a crush, grew into a strong like by the time we were in the fifth grade. Shit, middle school a nigga was die hard in love and it’s been the same ever since. I ain’t never want to be with somebody so bad the way I wanted to with you.”

She dropped her head, and I could tell she had her own lil debate going on with herself. The time I spent going through women was me avoiding gaining feelings for anyone else. I didn’t like how it felt to be so vulnerable, so I chose to do me and stay the fuck away from that love bullshit. Sad thing was, I loved women. I just couldn’t be with them and give them the option to hurt me.

“Well, since we’re on the topic of feelings, I might as well tell you how I really feel about you too then, huh?”

She was still facing me but decided to get more comfortable by straddling my lap. We sat in the middle of the tub entangled like a couple that had been at this shit for years. I loved havingher this close. This time felt more intimate than any other time we’d shared over the years.

“Do as you please princess. I’m not asking you to do a damn thing. I was simply telling you how a nigga been feeling all this time.”

She pressed her flesh against mine using her tongue to part my lips. This was the first time we shared a kiss as such. The sexual connection was flowing naturally, and it felt good to finally have the woman I loved attached to me. She broke the kiss letting her thumb caress my cheeks. She was secure in my arms, and I hadn’t planned on turning her loose.

“I have loved you since we were pre-teens. It wasn’t until I saw you with Talia McIntire that I realized I didn’t want to see you with anyone but me. I dated to try and hide how I truly felt but it never really worked out. The most I could do was care for someone but when it came to loving them or falling for them, my heart wouldn’t allow it. It’s always been you, Prez… always.”

“Yeah, I already knew that.”

“Huh? You knew?”

“Of course. I was just waiting on you to admit to it. I wasn’t making another move on you until you admitted to yourself that this was where you wanted to be. I never made a bitch my woman for personal reasons, but I damn sure wasn’t letting them take a spot that was reserved for you and you alone.”

A lone tear escaped, and I kissed it away. I was seeing her in a new light and the love she claimed she had for me was visible through her eyes. Having her in this moment brought more calmness to life than the jets in this tub.

“Can you please watch your mouth? I don’t like when you use derogative terms.”

“I don’t speak to you like that or call you out yo’ name so why you making it your business?”

“Don’t play with me, Prezidence.”

“Aight, aight. I’ll stop. Thank you for finally letting me all the way in. It took you forever, but nigga we made it!” I shouted then lightly nibbled on her neck.

Those soft nibbles turned into gentle kisses flipping the switch on the vibe we created. I could feel her body temperature rise along with my dick. I was controlling the situation, but she had every right to put a stop to this shit whenever she was ready. Being that needy ass nigga for pussy wasn’t me. I just wanted to seal the connection with the one that had a nigga in a chokehold.

I started a trail of kisses that led from her neck to her soft lips. She had a set that could be sucked on daily. Aveena was a woman that was stacked and could pull off any look. Whenever I laid eyes on her, she brought me to attention. She was naturally pretty, and the short haircut she sported fit her. I could look at her for hours on hours and not feel like a second was wasted.

As our tongues danced, my dick throbbed. It was ready to get up in her guts and redecorate. I knew she was getting her swerve on the same way I was but damn I wished no one else had the privilege to experience how good her loving was.