Page 72 of Bad Decisions & Back Roads

Beside me, Timothy stayed silent, patient and letting me find my way through it.

“Somehow, we got involved.A few months later his supervisor caught us together.Relationships were frowned on, so Justin, without warning me, announced we were getting married.Just like that.Said marriage made it respectable.”

Timothy’s brows lifted.“You went along with that?”

I picked at my cuticle.“At the time things between us were good enough that it didn’t feel crazy.”

“Did he do a proper proposal?One knee and all that?”

I shook my head.“What I didn’t know was Justin liked shiny new things.He collected them.Admired them.Showed them off.”My throat tightened.“Then he got bored and broke them.”

Timothy went very still.

“With me,” I said quietly, “he got more than he expected.I didn’t break as easily as he expected.I never told him I had training from a world class psychopath on how not to break.”

A long silence sat between us before Timothy asked carefully, “Did he at least give you a real wedding?Big ring, pretty dress, some ridiculously expensive venue?”

I laughed a small, broken sound.“Justice of the peace.Total half-ass about everything.He forgot the ring.We bought a cheap one from the Walmart around the corner.”

Timothy’s whole head turned.“Heforgotthe ring?”

I nodded.

“He replaced it later, right?”he asked like it was the obvious move.“That’s the symbol to the world of your relationship.”

I swallowed.“No.He said we never had the time or money.”

The muscle in Timothy’s cheek flexed hard enough to see.

“We lasted two years.”I stared out over the water.“We joined a large practice in Memphis.He became their golden horse surgeon.I handled mobile farm calls.The thing about Justin…” I rubbed at my chest where the ache lived.“He had to be the best at everything.”I smiled bitterly.“I got good at my job.”

Timothy’s arm brushed mine, waiting.

“My boss liked me better.The clients asked for me, even the horse owners.I brought in more money.I had better reviews.Instead of being proud of me…” My voice cracked.“He hated me for it.”

Timothy’s hand clenched on his knee.

Then came the hardest part.“He wanted a baby.”My words went small, fragile.“I wanted one too.I wanted one so badly.I thought it might fix whatever had gone wrong between us.”The confession scraped open something raw inside me.“I got pregnant once.”

I had to stop.Even now, years later, grief rose hot and choking.“I lost it at eight weeks.”

The words came out barely louder than breath.Wind moved across the lake.A bird called somewhere far off.

Beside me, Timothy said nothing, but he shifted closer.His shoulder pressed firmly against mine like he was anchoring me here.

“I tried again,” I whispered.“And again.Month after month, nothing.”Tears burned my eyes.“I started thinking my body was defective.I hated myself for failing at the one thing that should’ve been easy.”My voice shook.“I got depressed.Instead of helping me, Justin got angry.He said I wasn’t loving enough.Said I wasn’t supportive enough of him.I wasn’t pretty enough.Or happy enough.”I laughed bitterly through tears.“He found a lot wrong with me.”

Timothy’s arm came around my shoulders, slow and sure, drawing me against him.That somehow made me want to cry harder.

“Amy wasn’t the first woman he cheated with,” I admitted against his chest.“She was the first one he was careless enough to get caught with at work.”In a small voice I said, “He cheated three times that I know of.Could be more.”

“You did right to leave him,” he said, his voice rough with contained fury.“Nothing in what you told me was about love.”

I pulled back enough to look at him, heart pounding for an entirely different reason.“I was desperate to have a real family.I never had the greatest role models for a relationship.Those are excuses for a terrible mistake.”I inhaled shakily.“But Rye… I need you to hear me.”

His eyes locked on mine.

“I don’t need you taking me on like I’m some wounded thing you have to fix.I don’t need charity.I don’t need saving.”