Page 55 of Bad Decisions & Back Roads

“Condom?”he asked.

“I can’t have kids.So, doesn’t matter.”

“Says who?”

“Tried for a long time while I was married and…the doctor thought it was me.”

He leaned over to the bedside table, did something to what must’ve been a child’s lock, and pulled back to cover himself in a condom anyway.“If you want to have a baby, I guarantee you I can give it to you.Let’s not tonight, though.”

“I can’t believe I want someone this much who’s so arrogant.”

“That’s right…youwant me.”He rolled me on top of him to give me control.

“You trust me on top?”It’s not that I’ve never been on top.It just made me more self-conscious.

“I want to see every inch of you when you come.”

I hovered over him, unsure I was ready for this.Not him being inside me.I wanted that.I was afraid once I started down this path of trust with him, there would be no turning back.Timothy was a one-way ticket to locking something in my heart forever.

I eased down slowly.His first thrust gave me that almost-too-much feel, that stretch that was almost pain but wasn’t.Our foreheads smashed together, gasping.I wasn’t prepared to feel more than I already had, but he spread his hands along my back and slowly increased the pace and strength.With every push and pull of his body and his mouth and us…we tapped into something I hadn’t know was there.It was wild and reckless and something that could only be…us.Something I didn’t know I needed to find.

With one brush of his hand, he swiped the damp hair off my face.“You’re so beautiful.”

His face contorted with pleasure, and he led a brutal pace until he stopped.He linked his fingers with mine.“You want more?”

“Yes.”I leaned down and kissed him deep, pulling away for a moment to whisper, “I want everything from you.”

He rolled me beneath him and whispered, “Lock your ankles around me.”

Once I did, he lifted my pelvis with one hand and plunged in deep.As if unlocking some inner restraint, he let go.Wild.Uninhibited.I loved it.

He gasped out.“I’ve got you.”

Then there were no more words.Just our eyes holding each other as everything fell apart inside me.

Moments later, he too came hard and deep.

I didn’t even remember how I ended up next to him, breathing hard in silence.

“That was…” My voice cracked apart on a breathless laugh.“I’ve never…come twice.”

The words spilled out uselessly.There wasn’t language big enough for what had just happened to me.My entire body still felt suspended somewhere between trembling and floating, my pulse thundering so hard I could hear it in my ears.

Beside me, Timothy lay panting too, chest rising and falling fast as he stared up at the ceiling like he was trying to recover himself.

Then he turned toward me.Not rushed.Not triumphant.Just drawn to me like he couldn’t help it.

He brushed his mouth along my shoulder in slow kisses that felt almost unbearably tender after everything else.The softness of it hit harder than the desire had.

I went still beneath him.This was the dangerous part.Not the wanting.Not the way he could make my body unravel.It wasthis.The quiet after.The way his arm settled across my waist—heavy and warm and protective without ever feeling like a cage.

I stared at the pulse in his neck, still beating hard, and worked to gather my thoughts, but my brain refused to function properly with him kissing my skin.My chest felt too full.My skin too sensitive.My heart too awake.Beside me, he kept tracing absent-minded circles against my side like he already belonged there.

I chanced looking into the intensity in his gaze.Panic hit so hard it stole the air from my lungs.

He was the only person with the power to level every wall I’d built over the past year since my divorce.The walls were necessary to survive.What if he found out the truth about me?That I’d never be enough.That I couldn’t love hard enough.That I was hollow somewhere essential.

Justin’s words echoed in my mind.“No man will ever feel truly loved by you.”