Page 27 of The Beachside Rental

He just started the fifth chapter, when a notice flashed on the computer screen that he’d just received an email from his agent.This was the moment he’d been waiting for.

When he’d initially sent the second chapter, he’d wanted to know if the story had merit or not, but now that he was on the fifth chapter, he was invested in this character.He had to tell his story.He hesitated to read the email.He felt anxious about reading his agent’s feedback.If she hated the concept, he didn’t know what he was going to do.

And so, for a moment, he let the cursor blink at him as he leaned back in his chair and stared out at the ocean.He noticed that the water wasn’t as calm as it had been the day before.There was word of a storm headed up the coastline.He hoped it wasn’t a big storm.The thought of being trapped on the island during a big storm left him a bit unnerved.

Realizing he was just wasting time putting off the inevitable, he turned his attention back to his laptop.He opened his email app and clicked on the email.

Hey, thanks for sending through your second chapter.I liked it.It’s definitely a lot different than your last series.

Simon knew just from those few sentences that the chapter hadn’t worked for her.She wasn’t a blunt person.Somehow she thought taking her time, instead of just getting to the point would make the rejection or criticism sting less.It didn’t.

But since they’d been working together for nine years now, he’d gotten used to her approach.He would skim over the beginning parts of her email until he got to the constructive part.

Even though you have a powerful opening that draws in the reader, I think your hero needs a greater motivation other than tracking down his intergalactic dog.

Simon paused and glanced toward the ocean.He found it calming.

As though he sensed something was wrong, Gus walked over to him and nosed Simon’s hand so he would pet his head.Simon’s fingers stroked Gus’s head.

If Gwen had a dog, which he knew for a fact that she did not, then maybe she would understand the strong bond between a human and their four-footed friend.It was something extra special.

Simon looked back at his laptop and continued reading his agent’s email.

I won’t tell you what the hero’s journey needs to be, but if you want it to span an entire series, it needs to be super strong.It needs to be relatable to the majority of readers.And you’re going to need to pull on heartstrings.

Heartstrings?Was she serious?He didn’t write romance.He was writing science fiction/action fiction.

We’re running out of time.I’ve been putting off your editor, but I can’t do that much longer.I need a new chapter one by Monday.Remember, we need to hit on the emotions as much as the action.

Emotions?He thought that was what he usually included.Now he was questioning everything he’d written.

He closed his laptop.Now wasn’t the time to write back to Gwen.He needed to sit with what he’d read for a while—perhaps the night or maybe two.

He set aside his laptop and got up.It was only then he realized he’d worked until dinner time.

He went inside and opened the fridge.There was one large steak waiting to go on the grill.It was more than he could eat in one meal.His thoughts turned to Jenna.He wondered if she’d eaten yet.

Not pausing long enough to talk himself out of the idea, he headed outside.When he stopped in front of her door, he could hear her singing.He didn’t recognize the song, but he loved the lilt of her voice.

When the song ended, he rapped his knuckles on the door.A moment later, Jenna opened the door.

A smile bloomed on her face.“Hi.”

“Hello.I was just about to make dinner.I was wondering if you’d eaten yet.”

“Actually, I just started to make something.”

“Oh.”He was surprised by the amount of disappointment that flowed through him.He had no idea how much he’d wanted to share another meal with her.“Okay.I just had more steak than I could eat, and I thought of sharing with you.But no problem.”

When he turned to walk away, she said, “I was making some potatoes au gratin.Would they go with your steaks?”

A smile tugged at the corners of his lips.“I think they would go great.”

“Okay.I’ll be over as soon as they come out of the oven.Should be a few more minutes.”

“And I’ll get the grill started.”

“See you soon.”