Page 88 of Make It Last

Leo chuckled, while Kincaid grinned. “You’re all impatient to get home,” I muttered.

“It’s new for you to miss someone,” Griffin said mildly.

I rolled my eyes, but heat crept up the back of my neck.

“See?” Leo added. “He doesn’t even want to talk about it. That tells us everything.”

Sighing, I shook my head, grateful when Graham called for help organizing the gear. Later, once we were airborne, the rhythmic whir of the helicopter blades drowned out any effort at conversation. The noise gave me space to think, maybe too much space.

On the one hand, I missed Ava so much that my heart ached. On the other, I kept replaying the conversation with Laney at the pizza place. I had zero doubts about Laney. There was nothing there anymore, no zing of attraction, longing, or even curiosity. Whatever had once existed had burned out.

You can’t go back. I knew that had been said many a time, but I remembered my mom mentioning it about an old friend and how you couldn’t recreate the time and place and dynamics later on.

Laney wasn’t looking for a second chance. She was looking to rewind, to land somewhere safe after her life hadn’t worked out the way she’d planned. I understood that wasn’t love, but I knew she’d have to figure that out herself. Still, her presence in town had kicked up old doubts. Doubts I thought I’d buried.

That I was boring, beige, and too steady. For years, my solution to handling those doubts had been simple. No commitment meant no risk of being told I wasn’t enough. Situationships were light and temporary.

But now I wanted something real. With Ava. She was nothing like Laney. She was a bright spark in a dark night. She was sass and sarcasm, but tender underneath all of it. Knowing what she’d gone through, I knew she was healing in her own way. I wanted her to take that job in Willow Brook and stay. With me.

But I didn’t want her to do it for me, and that frightened me. What if Alaska stopped feeling like magic for Ava once it wasn’t a vacation? What if Willow Brook felt small and confining to her? What if she looked at me one day and saw beige?

“Yo, Tanner.” I blinked and looked over at Kincaid. “Cell reception,” he said simply.

We were all reaching for our phones like we hadn’t seen civilization in months. Which, okay, fair, it had been two weeks.

This was the first time I checked my phone, hoping for something more than a logistics text when I was coming back from a fire. I powered it on, and my lips curved when I saw Ava’s name flash on the screen.

Ava: Rumor has it you’re returning. Welcome home, Tanner.

My chest tightened in the best way. I typed back as soon as we landed.

Me: I have to stop by the walk-in care. Tell me when I can come by.

Her reply came almost instantly.

Ava: Walk-in care???!!!

Me: I’m fine. Minor injury, I promise. Graham’s making me because it’s protocol.

Ava: Oh. Okay.

Even through a screen, I could feel her worry. And, God help me, I liked that she cared. I stared at my phone screen for a few beats. My thumbs hovered.

Me: When can I see you?

Ava: I’m actually in Seattle getting my stuff.

Oh. I’d imagined driving straight from the walk-in to her place. Greeting her with a kiss with Growly purring in the background. Instead, she was thousands of miles away, boxing up her life.

Me: When are you coming back?

Ava: Soon.

That was it. No date, no smiley face, and no teasing.

I lowered my phone slowly, wrestling with the uncertainty twisting in my gut. I hadn’t realized how much I’d been counting on seeing her tonight until the possibility went up in smoke. Two weeks away had felt long. I’d been ready to close that distance.

My phone vibrated in my hand.