Page 56 of Lost and Found

“Good,” I say with pride.

“Good,” he says, leaning over to peck a kiss against my temple.

I’m not sure how long we go on like this, talking deeply and lightening it when we need to. We talk about our firsts. We talk about our town, and I tell him about all the wishes I’ve made in the wishing canoe and how some of them have even come to fruition. I tease him about all the girls I knew about in high school and all the hearts he broke, carefully avoidingany mention of Merritt. He blushes but otherwise doesn’t act boastful or dickish about it. We talk about things and people we miss. We talk about what he’s most excited for when it comes to firefighting.

“Working with my brother,” he says plainly. “I wish I were half as good as Ellis. He’s the most selfless guy I know. It’s fucking aggravating.”

I’ve heard him speak proudly about his family, but he’s never said something that brokered a comparison like that. I’ve never heard Silas hint at thinking of himself being anything less than amazing.

We’ve melted back down into the bed at some point, settling into the same pillows we laid on earlier. I look past him and see 3:48A.M.on his alarm clock, and watch his eyes start to drift closed. “I think you’re pretty good, Si.”

He cracks an eye open. “Keep talking to me,” he commands.

“Why?” I ask, my eyelids heavy.

“Because I want to stay awake and show you how good I can be.”

We’re both asleep before I can say anything else.

CHAPTER 20

One Morning, Eight Years Ago

Bea

I’m startled awake by a vibrating sound. Silas stirs beside me, and our eyes lock. We’re so close I see his pupils contract when the morning sun hits them.

“What was that?” I ask.

“What was what?” His voice is deeper, grittier in the morning.

“I thought I heard something.”

“Ravi snores loud enough to shake the walls. It was probably that.” His eyes heat when they scan over his shirt on me. “Bea. Last night was . . .”

I don’t have words for it, either. It was the most intimate night I’d ever had with someone, full stop.

I worried maybe the high and the mood of the night had made him feel sexier to me, but here in the light of day, it is worse. He’s golden and hot and rumpled. Every second of the night before is still crystal clear to me. I think if I look down, I’ll see his fingerprints on my skin.

I approach him slowly, the way he’d done for me. His kisses are less finessed this morning, his hands more urgent. When I kiss his neck, he whimpers roughly in my ear and that sound,fuck, that sound unhinges me. I set my knees on either side of his hips and grind myself into him, then pull his shirt over my head,the cool air pulling up goose bumps onto my skin. I grind down some more and bite my lip against a moan, and that’s when I hear the vibrating again.

My phone. I ignore it.

Silas sits up so he can nuzzle and suck my chest, his hips lifting mindlessly beneath me.

My phone starts up again.

“Let me fuck you, Bea,” he says into the valley of my breasts.

“Letmefuck you,” I say. I realize I’m smiling. I am more turned on than I can ever remember being, and I feel on the verge of hilarity at the same time. Silas bites down gently on a nipple, and I see him beaming, too.

My phone again.

“Do you need to get that?”

I don’t need anything other than him inside of me immediately. But it starts up once more.

“Shit. Let me see.”