Page 15 of Lost and Found

You said it’d be nice to be friends again, I quickly send before I lose my nerve. Like I’m justifying this to myself, too. My stomach clenches when three dots immediately pop up.

You have red hair and (objectively, in a benign, non-objectifying way) an ass that won’t quit, he replies.

I send back an ellipses and a question mark:. . . ?

I thought we were just stating factual things at each other.

I was asking a question, Silas, I fire back.

Punctuation is our friend. And yeah, it would be nice to be your friend again, too.

I hear myself snort a dumb laugh and promptly groan.

Last night. Did you mean it when you said I could stay with you?

My phone rings, and I sigh. I put a hand over my bouncing knee to steady it, then hit Answer.

“Calling instead of texting back?” I say, all false bravado. “Already working from a deficit in friendship points, Silas.”

The warm timbre of his chuckle buzzes through the phone. I curl my fingertips tighter around it. “The answer is yes. I meant it, Ruby. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

My throat compacts on a surge of emotion. I have to siphon off some of it in a watery exhale. “Yeah, I’m . . . I’m okay,” I tell him, because even if we’re being somewhat liberal with the definition, the truth is, I am okay. Icouldmove back into my house. I do have the money to pay for the fees, and it’d be unbearably tight, but I could afford at least one round of IVF still. Determined as I am, all wouldn’t be lost.

Compared to real, actual loss? A plan going awry is not the worst thing.

He sighs. “Okay, good,” he says. “But really, whatever you need. I’ve got plenty of room.”

“I wouldn’t need much. Most of my furniture is still in my house, so it’d really just be me and some boxes. A few small pieces I could move myself. It would be temporary. A month or two, at most.” I’m sure I can find an affordable rental by then.

“I’ve got a bed—as in, I’ve got a bed you can use. Not one you can share.” He mumbles something indecipherable away from the phone. “I mean youcanshare it with someone if you want to, and it doesn’t have to be me or anything. Jesus Christ. I’ve got an extra bed in a separate room on another floor.”

A skittish laugh jumps out of me. I shouldn’t enjoy flustering him. I can’t enjoy flustering him. I damn well can’t let it flusterme. “If it’s too weird, you really don’t have to say yes to this, Silas.”

“It’s not weird. It doesn’t have to be weird,” he says.

I relax another degree. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

There’s a beat of silence before I add, “Hey, Si? I’ve got an appointment on Friday if you want. For a haircut.”

“I’ll take it.”

“Sounds good. I’ll see you then.”

“See you then,” he confirms. He hangs up without a goodbye.

CHAPTER 6

One Night, Eight Years Ago

Bea

“You cannot seriously be ditching me for him, Mer.”Again, I leave unsaid.

She finishes changing into her favorite white tank top of mine and pulls her long hair free with a small wince. Her head lolls back with annoyed exasperation, those puppy dog eyes aiming at me across my apartment bedroom. “Don’t be like that, BB. Please? It’s just the same party that happens every month. I’ll go to the next one with you.”

I silently rummage through my outfit options some more.