Page 60 of Boss and Brat

He cleared his throat and stepped back, creating distance.

“Still,” Carter said, voice lower, steadier, “we gotta keep some boundaries. You can’t… we can’t do this every time something hits hard.”

Ethan nodded, even though the words stung. “Yeah. I get it.”

He didn’t get it. Carter held him like he mattered. Carter held him like he didn’t want to let go. But now Carter was putting the wall back up, brick by brick.

Ethan stared at the lake, pretending it didn’t bother him. Pretending he wasn’t replaying the hug in his head, trying to memorize the warmth of it. He wondered—again—if Carter knew he was gay.

He wasn’t hiding it. But he hadn’t said it out loud either. Not to Carter. Not since moving to the ranch. And Carter… Carter didn’t act weird about anything. Not about Rafael and Andrew being married. Not about Ethan’s partying past. Not about the way Ethan sometimes looked at him a little too long.

But that didn’t mean Carter was gay. Or even okay with Ethan being gay. Or okay with Ethan being gay and looking at him like that. Ethan tried to think of a way to ask. Something casual. Something that wouldn’t sound like he was fishing for an answer he desperately wanted. Nothing came to him. Every version in his head sounded pathetic.

“So,” Carter said, breaking the silence, “you good?”

Ethan nodded again. “Yeah. I’m good.” He wasn’t. He was a mess. A confused, grateful, terrified mess.

But Carter was watching him with that steady, protective look again, and Ethan didn’t want to ruin it. He shoved his hands in his pockets. “Thanks… for earlier. For listening.”

Carter’s expression softened. “You don’t have to thank me.”

Ethan swallowed. “Feels like I do.”

Carter looked away, like he was fighting something he didn’t want to admit. “Just… don’t make a habit of crying on me.”

Ethan laughed. “I’ll try.”

Carter’s mouth twitched like he wanted to smile but wouldn’t let himself. Ethan wished he knew what that meant. Wished he knew what Carter felt. Wished he knew if he was imagining everything. He wished he had the courage to ask. But he didn’t. Not yet.

So he stood there beside Carter, pretending the air between them wasn’t charged, pretending he wasn’t wondering whatwould happen if he reached for him again. Pretending he wasn’t falling.

They were still sitting on the ridge when Carter broke the quiet.

“So,” Carter said, brushing dirt off his jeans, “what kind of places did you party at in Chico?”

Ethan’s insides pulled tight, like bracing for impact. He hadn’t expected that question. Not now. Not after everything he’d just told him. But maybe… maybe this was the moment. Now or never.

His pulse kicked up, loud in his ears. He stared at the lake, trying to gather courage he wasn’t sure he had.

“Uh… places,” Ethan said weakly.

Carter raised a brow. “That’s not an answer.”

Ethan swallowed hard. His palms were sweating. He wiped them on his jeans. “Okay. Just… don’t freak out.”

Carter frowned. “Why would I freak out?”

Ethan took a breath that didn’t feel like enough. “I went to gay clubs. To dance. And… hook up.”

Carter froze. Not a blink. Not a twitch. Just… still.

Ethan’s heart sank straight through the ground. He shouldn’t have said it. He knew it. He always ruined things by talking too much.

He rushed to fill the silence. “I’m not out. Not really. No one knows I’m gay. Only Sarah. And, uh… the guys I hooked up with.”

Carter still didn’t say anything.

“I shouldn’t have told you. I know that. I just— I didn’t want you thinking I was lying about who I was. Or hiding stuff. I didn’t want it to change how you treat me.”