Page 57 of Discretion at Its Finest

I knew the way he loved and broke apart.

I’d seen it in his eyes on that balcony… and again when he looked at Eugene.

Another tear slipped down my temple. Every inhale brought something else I didn’t want to feel: guilt, longing… regret. The terrifying sense that I was slipping back toward him faster than I could stop myself.

And worse—

The thought I’d avoided for years, the one that had clawed its way back these past few nights:

I never stopped loving him.

Even when I tried to build a life without him. I convinced myself I chose safety, tried to convince myself he didn’t want me anymore—

God… what am I doing?

I exhaled shakily, pressing both palms over my face. Tomorrow I’d have to see him, pretend I was fine, that I wasn’t losing myself all over again.

Despite my pleas, desperate for him to not destroy everything I’d built… I wasn’t afraid of Reid destroying my life. I was afraid of how easily… how willingly… I’d let him.

Last night I’d barely slept. My head spun, thinking of everything under the sun.

Gregory didn’t come home either. He didn’t even check on the son that knew not to wait up for him. But I was too tired to fight for him to notice his son. Those battles I could never win.

Stepping out of my office, I walked toward the conference room, notes in hand; however, my steps faltered as the elevator chimed.

It was Cheryl.

Her blouse was perfectly tucked, hair loose around her shoulders, not a single sign of fatigue on her face. She looked absolutely radiant.

For the amount of times she’d shown unprompted, you would have thought I was actively searching for her… but that wasn’t the reason I was still fixated on her.

It was what she was holding.

A baby… balanced easily on her hip, rocking gently as she walked down the hall like she belonged here. She was effortless even with a child in her arms.

My steps slowed.

Gregory stepped out of his office in a hurry, nearly colliding with her. Whatever tension he had in his shoulders suddenly intensified. He said something I couldn’t hear, but Cheryl smiled soft and harmless as she bounced the little girl slightly higher.

The baby reached for him. And everything inside me stilled.

Gregory froze, distress flickering across his face, eyes sweeping the hallway in a frantic check of who might be watching. His gaze skimmed over me once, barely a second, before relief softened his shoulders.

He thought no one saw.

Then he took the baby’s tiny hands in his own and… he pressed a gentle kiss to them as she babbled at him.

My breath caught as he smiled at her.

It was a real smile. Not the forced, distracted one I’d learned to live with, or the fractured one he summoned for Eugene when guilt finally pulled him home. This one was warm and natural.

Before I could process the sting of that, Gregory placed a hand on Cheryl’s lower back, his touch intimate and far too familiar as he ushered her into his office before he shut the door behind them.

Then he ran a stressed hand through his hair, pacing once before abruptly turning and heading in the opposite direction.

His face seemed riddled with guilt. Or at least that’s what I thought. Was that guilt I’d seen? I wasn’t sure.

My brain didn’t even try to put meaning to it. It just replayed the image over and over: his panic when he saw them, the relief when he thought no one noticed. The ease with her child… his willingness to be present… just not for his own son.