Page 44 of Razor
My heart falls. “I couldn’t do that, Carla. I would never hurt him like that.”
“But he’s hurting you, Sunday. That is not okay. You deserve better.”
“I do.”
My heart is heavy because, no matter how much I try to ignore it, his coldness is hurting me. I desire more from him, but I’m scared he doesn’t see it in the same way and that by challenging the situation will change everything.
She smiles, her kind expression causing a chink in my armor, and as she heads my way, she pulls me in for a hug.
“Don’t be afraid to go after what you want, honey. Sometimes you must spell it out in single letters for it to register in their emotionless brains.”
She chuckles as she squeezes me hard. “Men are very different from us. They are happy if their dicks are and yet women connect on a more emotional level and you are selling yourself short if you play by his rules. Be a strong woman because a Reaper will respect that. Go and get your man andforce him to face the situation that everyone here can see as plain as day, other than the two of you it seems.”
A movement by the door distracts us, and my heart beats a little faster when Ryder’s wife, Ashton, walks into the bar with Bonnie, Ryder’s second in command, Snake’s wife.
Their easy smiles are always so welcoming, and Ashton grins.
“Hey girls. How are you?”
I’ve met Ashton and Bonnie several times. When I first got here, and in the bar most evenings. I have never seen two women more treasured by their husbands. They worship them and the women are obsessed with their men. They set the bar incredibly high, and it’s a goal I wish like hell I could achieve with Razor.
Carla jerks her head toward me.
“I’m trying to talk sense into Sunday.”
Bonnie rolls her eyes. “Let me guess, she has a leather-wearing problem that could sure use a shave.”
Ashton glances at me with sympathy, and I sigh inside.
“You’ll crack the code. I have every faith in you.”
She smiles and I nod miserably. “At least one of us does, then.”
Bonnie sighs in annoyance. “What is it with these guys? Do they wear blinkers that I’m unaware of?”
Ashton groans. “They are difficult, I’ll give you that. But everyone can see how much Razor likes you, honey. He watches you when you work the bar and warns the other guys off with a cold glare and his overbearing presence.”
“Yeah, it’s as if he has surrounded you with tape reading, Property of Razor, do not approach if you value your life.”
Bonnie is so funny, and we all giggle, the tense atmosphere lightening at her words.
“I’ve tried, but getting two words from him is difficult enough. I don’t stand a chance.”
“You’ll get there, honey. I believe in you.”
Ashton’s soft smile warms my heart, and I can tell why everyone loves her so much. I want what she has. We all do because Ryder King is besotted with his wife and, by all accounts, was the moment she walked through those doors with her brother. Unlike Razor, though, he didn’t hang around, and they were married two hours later.
I am several months down the line and no further forward, and that is a huge problem because it tells me only one thing.
Razor doesn’t look at me in the same way, and I can’t even begin to process what that means for my heart.
CHAPTER 23
RAZOR
I’m not even sure why I asked Sunday to meet me. When Blade started questioning my intentions, for some reason I only wanted her. Not to reassure her. I’m the selfish prick who is doing this for his own reasons. When she’s not with me, I’m wondering who she’s talking to, which proves I’m one big giant red flag walking.
I worry about her when she’s not under me, or my watchful eye, and I suppose it’s because I’ve never cared for a woman like I do Sunday. The trouble is, she can never know because this is as good as it gets. I could never ask her to stay with me. To be my old lady, or just my girl, even. To move in with her, set up home together because she deserves better.
