Page 39 of Razor

“What did you expect?”

My voice is low, husky, emotionless.

“Conversation perhaps, a drink first.”

She chuckles softly. “It was a lovely welcome though.”

“Glad to be of service.”

Her head falls to my chest, and she kisses it softly, and I cannot pretend I’m not loving every minute of this.

“I can’t believe this is happening.”

“Why?”

“I mean, I’m not usually so, well, promiscuous. After all, we’ve only just met and now we’ve, well, you know, several times. What must you think of me?”

“I think you’re overthinking it.”

I dismiss her worries.

“Overthinking what?”

I don’t miss the need in her voice and harden my heart.

“I want you, you want me, and we fuck. There’s nothing to be ashamed about.”

“I see.”

She moves, rolling to the side, lying on her back, staring up at the ceiling.

“You’re probably right; I’m overthinking it.”

She sounds disappointed, and I fucking hate myself right now. The trouble is, it’s more than a fuck to me and I’m attempting to shut down the feelings inside me that are threatening to ruin me forever.

I made a vow many years ago that I would never fall in love. Never marry and never cohabit with a woman. I will remain single until I take my last breath and not form attachments. It’s why I enlisted in the military. It’s better that way, and now I’m a Reaper the set up here is more than adequate to suit my wishes.

Then Sunday smiled at me from across the bar, and it all changed in a heartbeat.

CHAPTER 20

SUNDAY

Ihate how I’m feeling right now. That was the best sex of my life, and I hope it meant something to Razor too. Surely, he felt something.

He is a closed book that may as well be in a foreign language because I doubt I’ll ever be able to read him.

It’s obvious this is just a fuck to him and yet Annabelle told me he didn’t indulge in the whores very often.

Is that what I am to him? A newer whore that he is keen to tick off his list.

I really believed it was more than that.

Tears burn inside me, but I won’t let them fall. No matter what I hoped for, he has never promised me anything else.

My heart is crushed, my integrity damaged, and yet I would do it all over again if he asked. I can’t help wanting him, no matter how he thinks of me, what others will and I must learn to live with that. I am his whore, it’s obvious, and yet the idea of swapping him for another Reaper leaves me cold. I can’t pick and choose at random. I only want to be with Razor, but he obviously doesn’t want the same, and it hurts like hell.

I’m surprised when his giant hand finds mine and his fingers curl around it in a sweet gesture that I wasn’t expecting.