Page 2 of Joker

Not now.

I can’t break now.

I push away from the counter and walk down the hall to Lexi’s room.

She looks up the second I step inside, her big eyes bright, her little fingers stilling on the stuffed rabbit she’s been dragging everywhere lately. “Mommy?”

I crouch down in front of her, smoothing her hair back from her face, memorizing the softness of it like I haven’t done it a thousand times already.

“Hey, baby,” I say softly, forcing a smile that doesn’t quite reach my eyes. “How do you feel about a trip?”

Her face lights up instantly. “A trip?”

“Yeah,” I whisper, my voice steady even though everything inside me is shaking. “A little vacation. Just you and me.”

She claps her hands, bouncing on the bed. “Can we bring Bunny?”

I laugh under my breath, the sound fragile. “Of course we can bring Bunny.”

She launches herself at me and I catch her automatically, holding her tight for a second longer than usual. Breathing her in. Grounding myself in her warmth.

I’m doing this for her. I’m doing this so she never has to learn how to read a man’s mood just to stay safe.

“So we have to be really quiet, okay?” I murmur against her hair. “It’s like a game.”

“A game,” she repeats, serious now, like she’s been given an important job.

“That’s right.”

I pull back and help her slip on her shoes, my fingers clumsy as I tie them. Every second feels too loud. Too slow. We move back toward the front of the house together, her small hand wrapped around mine, her stuffed rabbit tucked under her arm.

I grab my purse. My keys. My heart is pounding so hard I can hear it in my ears.

This is it.

This is the moment.

I reach for the door handle and hesitate for half a breath, my mind flashing through every worst-case scenario in rapid succession.

What if he comes back early? What if he catches us halfway down the driveway?

What if—

No.

I can’t think like that.

I twist the handle and pull the door open. And everything inside me drops. He’s standing there. Right on the other side of the door. Close enough that I nearly run into him.

Cal.

His eyes are locked on mine, and there’s something in them that makes my blood go cold. Not anger. Not exactly. Something quieter. Something worse. Understanding.

He tilts his head slightly, taking in the purse on my shoulder, the keys in my hand, Lexi at my side. Then he smiles. It doesn’t reach his eyes. “Going somewhere?” he asks, his voice calm in a way that sets every nerve in my body on fire.

My throat goes dry. I can’t speak. I can’t even think.

His gaze flicks down to Lexi. “Hey, sweetheart,” he says, all easy charm now. “Why don’t you go put a movie on for Daddy? Something loud.”