Page 18 of Scar Tissue

As they head down the walkway, Thea keeps a few steps ahead, her posture tense. Claire hesitates for a fraction of a second before following. I’m guessing that’s the part of her that isn’t sure whether to trust someone in fear of being dragged back to where she escaped from. I’m not entirely sure she will open up to Thea while they’re out, but if she doesn’t do it with us, she’s going to have to do it with a therapist. That wasn’t my rule but it was a part of her stipulations of staying with me if she wanted to help take down her abusers. The only other piece of information I was able to yield about her time is that she had been there for five years, and knowing what I do about the trafficking world, I can only imagine what she went through.

They drive off and I take a deep breath, praying that this is a good thing and not a product of me trying to make up for my sins. Cracking my neck, I walk down the hall to my room and grab my laptop before settling at the kitchen island. I’m not sure what I’m looking for exactly—there isn’t enough information for me to look into the trafficking network yet—so I start small by looking up Harrison Clark. Beloved Mayor of Baltimore.

The articles that I scroll through mainly consist of positive press—because of course they do. Community programs, charity events, and economic initiatives that paint him as the perfect public servant. I scroll through photos of him shaking hands with business owners, smiling alongside police officers I have no doubt he has in his back pocket, and cutting ribbons at grand openings. There are more of him posing with children at the grand opening of a new school and my stomach churns. I wonder if that’s a frequent target for him and I make sure to tuck that information away for later. He’s such afucking cliche. I’m hoping to find some level of information that isn’t carefully curated PR but he’s almost squeaky in the public eye.

Sure there are a few opinion pieces that hint toward aggressive expansion policies that push out low-income communities, but they’re buried beneath all of the optimistic bullshit. The only other thing I can consider a pessimistic piece is the hint of a scandal that he was having an affair, cheating on his wife, but I don’t doubt that was easily swept under the rug because, again—he’s a fucking cliche. And I bet she stayed with him, too, because there is power in money and among the upper class of society. What ever happened to self-respect? Other than that, though? No corruption charges or any whispers of criminal activity. I take it upon myself to see if my colleagues have done a background check, shooting off a quick email through our encrypted network.

There’s a few more links I explore when I see one that makes my heart stop.

Twenty-five year old dead on impact after colliding with another vehicle in a freak accident.

I click on it, my pulse picking up because I never bothered to read anything on the accident after that night. What was the point when I was the one driving? It was an open and shut case as far I was concerned because I’m the reason my best friend is dead…or I thought I was. My eyes scan the page, looking everywhere but the image of the crushed vehicle, wrapped around a tree. My fingers clench around themselves as I read:

A tragic accident on Friday night resulted in the death of local twenty-five year old, Miles Lewis, after two vehicles collided at the corner of Foxglove Trail and Willow Creek Road.

According to investigators, the crash occurred when one vehicle veered into oncoming traffic, causing a collision that caused both vehicles to exitthe roadway. One vehicle struck a tree, which killed Lewis on impact. The driver of that vehicle, whose name has not been released, was transported to a local hospital with non-life threatening injuries. The driver of the second vehicle also sustained minor injuries and was released from the hospital after staying for observation for several days.

Councilman Clark, a friend to one of the victims involved in the accident, expressed his condolences in an interview with The Sentinel Times. “This is a sad day for the community as we mourn the loss of Miles. While I didn’t know him personally, it is always difficult losing such a young soul in any circumstance, especially when they’re just starting their life. What makes it more tragic is that he was a local, born and raised, here in Baltimore. I know I’m not the only one mourning this afternoon. My thoughts are with his family during this difficult time. As we move forward, the city council has made it a goal to review city and county streets in an attempt to make them safer. But I also urge that we come together and support one another, ensuring something positive comes from this tragedy. Thank you.”

Authorities have determined that the accident was just that—an accident, citing road conditions and unexpected vehicle movement as contributing factors. After a full investigation, no charges were filed against either driver.

Friends and family of Miles have expressed their grief over the loss, remembering him as a devoted son, brother, and friend who had an outgoing personality and was the type to always make people laugh in tough situations. A funeral service is scheduled for Saturday May 12th at Moreland Memorial Park Cemetery with reception to follow.

The fuckingnerveof that man to say all of that about Miles knowing what I know now. I try to remember, but all I can pull from that night is the blur of headlights, the screech of tires, and the sickening crunch of metal. I thought I had somehow caused it, that it wasmymistake that somehow sent us across the center line into theother vehicle before colliding with the tree. I had felt so much relief when I was told there were no charges being filed against me, and I always thought that was weird because there should have been. It isn’t like I’d been drinking that night, so I was never worried about a DUI, but surely a reckless driving charge or vehicular manslaughter. It was the least I deserved. It’s why I’ve been punishing myself all of these years. Even having the truth revealed, it doesn’t bring the relief I thought it would. If anything, the weight in my chest only sinks deeper…because it isn’t going to be easy to bring Harrison Clark down.

When Thea and Claire return,I’m still sitting at the kitchen island, head in hands. I’m not sure how long I have been sitting like this, my heart heavy with memories that should bring me happiness but only bring pain. Images of Miles’ face, smiling or laughing while we frequented our favorite places, are replaced by unseeing eyes as I try getting his attention from where he’s laid at an odd angle in the passenger seat, blood trailing from his ears and nose. God, I can’t process how much I blocked out about that night, but now that I’ve started, my mind won’t stop.

“Dude, are you ever going to ask my sister out?” Miles says from where he’s sitting in the passenger seat.

I choke on the water I had been drinking, sputtering as I try to gain my composure, because there is no way he just asked me that. I’d never talked to him about my feelings for Thea, let alone acted on them, so how the hell does he know? “What?”

“You heard me. I like Lucas, I do. But you’re my best friend, and honestly? You’re the only one I trust to take care of her heart.” Glancing out of the corner of my eyes as I come around a bend, he’s eyeballing me.

“Are we really going to have this conversation?”

He shrugs. “You don’t have to, but the only one in denial about it is you.”

We take another turn and a part of me thinks we should pull over to have this conversation. “Why are you even bringing this up? You really think that I’m just gonna?—”

He cuts me off, not missing a beat. “I know you like to think nobody would notice, but you’re my best friend, man. You practically sweat every time she’s around. And lately? You’ve been wound tight any time you are in the same room together. You’re gonna have to stop running from it eventually.”

I scoff. “Stop running? It’s not running…I’m just trying to keep things normal. The last thing I want to fuck up is our friendship, let alone mine and Thea’s. Besides, you don’t find the age difference strange at all?”

“Nah, it’s not like she’s a little girl anymore. But it’s not like you’re decades apart, either. If she’s old enough to make her own decisions, then it’s not a problem. Stop acting like you’re ancient or some shit. If anything, having the foundation after knowing each other for all of these years is a good thing.” I check out the clock, seeing how much longer is left in this drive, because a tinge of mortification floods my body that he’s figured this out. We’re heading to a lake house for the weekend to party with some friends.

“Okay, that might be true. But it still doesn’t change the fact that I’m her brother’s best friend, and that still feels like a line I shouldn’t cross. And I definitely don’t want her to feel like I’ve been waiting for this moment. This wasn’t some hidden agenda…it just happened.” I look at him pointedly.

“Fuck the lines, man. The only one there, is one your imagination has created. You’ve gotta stop letting that shit hold you back. You might think I’m fucking with you, but I’m not. You’ve always had her best interests at heart and you still do, which is why you’re being stubborn about this. That’s why I trust you with her. If you care about her, and she feels the same way, what’s the harm?” Jesus, he’s serious.

Running a hand through my hair, I sigh. “And you think she feels the same?”

“I know she does.”

Well, if that doesn’t settle it, then. As soon as the time is right, I’m gonna tell Thea how I feel. I’m just about to respond, but as we come around a bend, headlights blind me and I can’t see what side of the road they’re on. I slam on my brakes, heart racing as the car swerves slightly, but time seems to slow down as the screech of tires comes barreling toward us. I’m not sure if it’s the other car or mine as I continue to press on the brakes, but the sound is interrupted as a jarring impact sends us flying off an embankment, and for a moment we’re airborne. Miles is yelling something but I can’t hear him as I fight to take control of the wheel before the passenger side slams into a tree and everything is suddenly silent. Darkness.

“Nathan?” A voice cuts through the fog and I stand up, knocking the stool backward. “Woah, are you okay?”

Shaking my head to clear it, I look at Thea standing in the doorway as Claire retreats to her room. Instead of answering her, I stride toward her in three steps and wrap my arms around her, needing to feel her against me. Her posture is stiff, and for a moment I think she is going to push me away, but she surprises me. She…relaxes in my arms and tentatively wraps her arms around my neck, dropping the bags that were in her hands. “I’m here.”