Page 111 of The Bratva Sinner

It’s been three days since Haylie called Cinder from a gas station payphone in Tucson to say she was fine and headed home to her mom in Arizona.

I’m glad she’s okay. I’m glad she got out. I know Maksim is both happy and disappointed. He’s worried she might fall into old habits in an unsafe environment.

Ava is stretched out on the other end of the sectional, with her legs tucked under her and a medical textbook the size of a cinder block balanced on her knees. She’s been here almost every day this week, under the premise of cramming for a microbiology exam. I don’t know if Maksim asked her to come, or if she just started showing up on her own. Either way, I’m not complaining. Having her here makes me feel like I have a friend. I haven’t left the house since the night at the club. I don’t want to stress Maksim out. He’s trying to take care of me. I still get an itchy feeling when I accept his rules. My inner rebel screams at me, but I understand safety. I just have to remind myself of the mall. Or what happened to my mother. Or the time I was almost snatched off the street.

I renew my silent vow to stop fighting him as much as my pride allows.

She marks her page with her finger and looks at me over the top of the book. “You’ve been in a weird mood all morning. What is it?”

“I’m not in a weird mood.”

“Lila.”

I sigh. “I’m fine. I’m good, and I think that’s what’s weird. I feel almost normal, and I don’t know what to do with that.”

She tilts her head. “Normal is bad?”

“Normal is suspicious,” I say. “In my experience, normal is just the quiet before something explodes. And in my life, there’s always an explosion. Nothing stays good for long.”

Ava sets the book down. “Or normal is just normal. Maybe things are okay. You’ve made it through the storm, and now you get to enjoy the sunshine.”

“He’s been different the past few days,” I say. “He came home for dinner twice.”

“That’s a good thing, right?”

“Yes, but it makes me nervous.”

“I understand that. It took me a long time to get my nervous system to relax after living on the streets and going through what I did in the system. I was in survival mode. I still get anxious, but I’m learning to settle. Give yourself some time. Don’t push it.”

That makes a lot of sense. “How long do you think it took you?” I ask.

“A year, maybe more. You deserve this. You have to tell yourself that a lot before you’ll believe it.”

“I want to believe it’s over, but I don’t think it is. Not with these guys still threatening me and going after Maksim’s businesses. You guys. I guess I feel like the storm hasn’t even started yet.”

“Trust Maksim,” she says. “Seriously. He’s powerful. And he’s crazy about you. Trust that.”

“I’m trying.”

“Good. Give yourself time.”

She picks up her book again. I know I have a lot to get through. I hope I can be normalone day, whatever that might look like.

“Can I ask you something?” I say.

“Always.”

“Do you like it? School, I mean.”

She smiles. “Yes. I really do.” She taps the cover of the textbook. “This stuff is hard, and there are days I want to throw this book into the ocean. But yeah. I like it.” She pauses. “What about you? Did you graduate high school?”

“Barely.”

“Have you thought about college?”

“It wasn’t in the conversation when I was growing up.”

“Why not?”