Page 110 of The Bratva Sinner

“I did,” she says. “I haven’t allowed myself to think about any of that. And it just kind of hit. She deserved to be cried over.”

“I’m here for you.”

She exhales slowly. “I’m hungry, and I need to not think about any of this for an hour. Can we do that?”

I look out at the pool through the back glass. It’s a warm evening. Hot and muggy.

“Go put your suit on,” I say.

She glances at the pool and then back at me. “Yeah?”

“Unless you want to go in like that.”

She almost smiles. “Give me five minutes.”

I quickly change out of my clothes and into my swim trunks. She looks me up and down. I see the desire in her eyes.

“Come on,” I say.

I jump in while she goes to the steps and creeps in. Once submerged, she kicks up her feet and settles in to float on her back with her arms out and her face turned toward the sky.

I swim a slow lap and come back. She’s still floating, with her hair spread out around her in the water.

“She was beautiful in that picture,” she says to the sky.

“She was.”

“I look like her.”

“You do.”

She rights herself, treading water. “I used to think she was weak. For years. I was so angry at her for the way we lived.” She looks at her hands beneath the surface. “I didn’t understand.”

“You were a kid.”

“I was a shitty kid sometimes.”

“You were a kid,” I say. “Kids are shitty.”

“I know, but I think most kids get the chance to apologize,” she says.

“Some do. I think we have to believe our parents know we loved them.”

She swims toward me. I open my arms and pull her against me. She wraps her legs around my waist, and we bob up and down in the water.

“Areyouokay?” I ask. “You’ve had a rough day.”

“Honestly, I feel better. I’ve been spending way too much energy trying not to think about her. I just have to deal with it and move forward.”

“I’m here for you. If something feels too much or too hard, let me know.”

“Thank you.”

For a few minutes, floating in the water with Lila in my arms, I almost forget that the war is still coming.

29

Lila