Page 87 of Paparazzi Perfect
The love between them was tangible—everythingI’d never had.
A sharp pain shot through my chest. With a heavy heart, I made my way outside.
***
Sliding into the back seat, I held my palm up, warding off Gus’s questions. He studied me knowingly, then sped away from the airport. A chill seeped through my body. Any energy I still had drained out of me, leaving me empty.
I leaned back, imagining what our family could have been. And never would be.
My head throbbed. I bit down on my lip, blinking back the tears.
I stared at the envelope Karlos had shoved into my hand before ripping it open and pulling out the neatly folded letter.
Karson,
I’m on my way to the airport. I won’t be back. After you read this you might understand.
When you were a boy, I sent you away for your own good. Being a good father wasn’t in the cards for me. And your mother… well, her two great loves in life are money and power. She didn’t want to look after a child, and I couldn’t trust myself to give you what you needed.
I winced.
Finally, the truth. Two parents who hadn’t wanted me. But he wasn’t telling me anything I hadn’t known since I was old enough to crawl. Resisting the urge to throw the letter out the window, my gaze returned to the page.
When I was a boy, I had a family. My mother, your grandmother Margaret, was a kind woman. When she took my hand in hers, I felt safe. And no matter how many questions I asked, she was always patient and loving.
Not long after I turned five, I woke up and couldn’t find her. My father wasn’t home that day, so I went next door to my friend Jimmy’s house.
He let me inside. The door to his father’s office was slightly open. Mother was there. Jimmy’s father was kissing her. She told Jimmy’s father that she couldn’t see him anymore and that if my father found out, he’d hurt them both. She was afraid and kept crying.
My stomach clenched. He’d mentioned nothing about my grandparents before. So it seemed my grandmother had fallen in love with the neighbor.
Why’s he telling me this now?I kept reading…
I wanted to make her feel better, so I called out to her. She stopped crying and hurried out of the office, wrapping me in a warm hug. We went home and played together for the rest of the day.
That night, she kissed me and put me to bed. The next morning she was gone. I never saw her again. My father told me she left because she didn’t love me anymore.
He wanted me to hate her, like he did. But I knew how scared she’d been of him. I knew it was him who made her disappear.
“What the hell?” I muttered, shaking my head from side to side.
Gus shot me a look in the mirror.
I’d heard pretty much zero about my grandparents, then I found out that my grandfather might have killed my grandmother.
This family is un-fucking believable.
A sick feeling spread from the center of my stomach as I dragged my attention back to the page.
He didn’t allow me to play with Jimmy or start school that year. He said he’d give me a proper education himself. I didn’t have any friends or go anywhere without him.
His idea of education was teaching me things a little boy should never learn. I became an expert in overcoming my conscience. He taught me how to win. How to lie. How to manipulate.
I tried not to become who he taught me to be. But it was too deep inside to root out. I knew if I were around you, I’d ruin you the way he ruined me. Keeping you as far away as possible meant you could become the person I could never be.
I swallowed back the hard lump forming in my throat and focused on the passing buildings outside the window, trying to clear my head.
It was my grandfather who’d turned my father into a monster. My grandfather was the reason I’d grown up the way I had. But I couldn’t blame him for my mother’s lack of warmth. I could have lived with one parent being cold. But two—that was a bad hand to be dealt.
