Page 136 of The Diamond in the Rough

I frowned, then looked back up at him. He wasn’t looking at me, and his cheeks were still dark, his eyes lowered. “What sort of thing?” I asked.

He didn’t look up. “Relationships,” he replied. “Romantic ones, specifically.”

“I don’t understand what you mean that you’re notgoodat them,” I told him apologetically.

That made him look up sharply. “Well, I usually just don’thavethem,” he said softly. “Because of the job, mostly.”

“Why?” I asked, partly just for something to say, and partly because I wanted to know.

He shrugged, sticking both hands in the pockets of his jeans. “The hours, mostly.” He let out another sigh. “Or, at least, that’s what I tell myself. And other people.”

“But it’s not true?”

“Shit, you’re direct.”

“Sorry.” I felt my face flush. I knew I was supposed to be more circumspect. Talk around things rather than stating them up front. Ward had warned me about how most people don’t like directness. I just… I wanted to know. With most people I didn’t care, but I wanted to understand how Raj’s mind worked.

“Don’t be,” he said softly, reaching out one hand as though he might touch my uninjured arm.

I tensed—but not because I didn’t want him to, but because I just wasn’t used to people touching me, even though he did sometimes. A hand on my back. A brush of fingers on my arm. Usually when I didn’t see it coming.

I wanted him to.

But he didn’t this time, pulling his hand back and sticking it in his pocket. “It’s easier to pretend that I don’t date or even bother to get to know people because of the hours.”

That made sense. “Why don’t you, if it isn’t the hours?” I asked him.

Another huff. “You’re not going to let it go, are you?” he asked.

I ducked my head again, cheeks on fire. “I’m sorry. Youdon’t have to answer. It was rude of me to ask.” I did want to know, but it was clear that I shouldn’t have.

“Because I’m scared,” he said softly, and there was something almost desperate and raw in his voice. “Shit,” he breathed out, stopping on the sidewalk, causing a few people to shoot glares at us as they moved around us. “I didn’t—I didn’t mean to say that.”

“Sorry.”

“Rayn—” He reached toward me again, his hand hovering.

“You can touch me,” I blurted.

Raj looked startled, but then he gently put his hand on my unbroken arm, warmth from his palm soaking through the thin fabric of my shirt. He used it to guide us out of the center of the sidewalk, backing me up against a warm brick wall—not roughly, just… out of the way. Honestly, I appreciated the support of the wall keeping me from collapsing due to weak knees.

“Don’t apologize for being you,” he said softly, letting his hand slide past my elbow until his fingers brushed the back of my hand, sending tingles rushing through my whole arm. “It’s why I can’t stop thinking about you.” He slid his hand around my palm, then laced his fingers with mine. “Is this okay?”

I nodded furiously.

He stepped a little closer, and the rest of the busy sidewalk seemed to disappear into a fog. He let go of my fingers as both hands came up and slid along my jaw. “This?” he asked softly.

I nodded again, the backpack on my good shoulder sliding down to the sidewalk.

“And would it be okay if I kissed you?”

More nodding, because I’d lost the ability to use my voice, my heart trapped in my throat.

And then his lips were on mine, and I learned that the hairs of his mustache and beard were surprisingly soft and smelled faintly of sandalwood oil. But his lips were softer, warmer. It felt like I melted into his mouth, the warmth of the sun-warmed brick against my back replaced by the higher heat of Raj’s body against my chest as I pulled myself into the kiss with the fist I’d made in his shirt with my good hand.

He rememberedthat Rayn had once mentioned liking bold colors—like the bright teal, crimson, and orange glazing on his mug—so he deliberately picked a t-shirt in a vibrant shade of burnt umber. He didn’t own a lot of colorful clothes because he mostly only wore suits in dark colors and button-downs in light shades. Maybe he’d add some bright ties.

But he was getting ahead of himself.