Page 65 of Forgotten Vows

"So we tell him the truth." Lachlan's hand moves to my hip, careful to avoid the fresh tattoo. "We tell him that we love each other. That we're a family now."

"Are we?" The question comes out before I can stop it. "Are we really a family, Lachlan? Or are we just two people who loved each other once and are trying to figure out if there's anything left?"

I feel the flinch that ripples through him, naked hurt in his green eyes. "How the fuck can you say that?" he murmurs. "After last night?There's everything left. Everything, Adriana. I love you. I've always loved you. That never changed."

I swallow hard, tears burning in my eyes all over again. I don't know how I have any left. "But we did. We both changed. You became this—this dangerous man, this killer, and I became—" My voice breaks. "I don't even know what I became. A prisoner. A victim. Someone who let her brother control every aspect of her life because she was too afraid to fight back."

"You survived." Lachlan's thumb wipes away my tears, and his touch is so gentle it makes me cry harder. "You survived, and you protected our son. That's not weakness, Adriana. You're brave. And you aren't a victim here. You know that."

"I feel like I don't know who I am anymore, or what I want, or if I can even trust my own feelings."

"Then let me be strong for both of us." He pulls me closer, and I can feel his heart beating against my chest. "Let me take care of you. Let me prove to you that this is real, that we can have this."

I want to say yes. God, I want to say yes so badly it hurts. But I think about Matteo, about how fragile he is right now, about how much he needs stability and security and time to adjust to this new reality.

"Give me a little more time," I whisper. "Please. Just a little more time to help Matteo adjust. To help him understand that you're not a threat, that this is safe. And then—" I take a shaky breath. "And then we can talk about me moving in here. About being a real family."

Lachlan is quiet for a long moment, and I can see the conflict on his face. The desire to push, to claim, to take what he wants warring with the understanding that I can see there, too. He wants to give me choices, and he understands why I'm asking. But it's hard for him to give ground, just like it's hard for me to trust.

"How much time?" he asks finally.

"I don't know." I'm being honest, even though I know it's not what he wants to hear. "However long it takes for Matteo to feel safe and to trust you. For him to understand that this is his home now, and that you're his father, and that we're not going anywhere."

"And you?" His hand moves to my face, cupping my cheek. "How long until you feel safe? Until you trust me?"

The question makes my chest tight, because I don't have an answer. I don't know if I'll ever feel completely safe again, after everything that's happened. I don't know if trust is something I'm capable of anymore. But I can see the vulnerability in his eyes, the fear that I'm going to pull away from him completely, and I can't do that to him.

"I'm trying," I say softly. "I'm trying, Lachlan. That's all I can promise right now."

He stares at me for a long moment, and then he nods slowly. "Okay."

"Okay?"

"Okay." He leans in, pressing his forehead against mine. "I'll give you time. I'll give you whatever you need, Adriana. Because you're worth waiting for. You've always been worth waiting for."

The words break something open inside me, and I'm kissing him before I can think about it, pouring everything I can't say into the press of my mouth against his. He responds immediately, his hand sliding into my hair, holding me close as he deepens the kiss. When we finally break apart, we're both breathing hard.

"We should get up," I whisper. "Before Matteo wakes up and comes looking for me."

"I know." But Lachlan doesn't let me go. "Just a few more minutes."

So I give him that. I give us both that. A few more minutes of pretending that this is simple, that we're just two people in love, that the world outside this room doesn't exist. And as he pulls my leg up over his thigh, notching himself slowly into me despite the soreness in us both, I give myself over to the pleasure.

—

By the timeI make it back to my room and get dressed, I can hear Matteo moving around in his room down the hall. I knock softly onhis door, and when he calls out for me to come in, I find him sitting on his bed, still in his pajamas, looking small and uncertain.

"Morning, baby," I say, sitting down next to him. "How did you sleep?"

He shrugs, not meeting my eyes. "Okay, I guess."

"Just okay?"

"I had bad dreams." His voice is small. "About Uncle Gio. About the men with guns."

My heart clenches. "I'm sorry, sweetheart. That must have been scary."

"Are we really safe here?" He looks up at me finally, and the fear in his eyes makes me want to cry. He burrows closer to me, burying his head against my arm, and I can feel him shaking slightly. "I don't want it to be scary again. I don't want to get hurt again. My arm hurts. And…" He looks down where the bandage on his side is, under his shirt. "I just wanna be safe, Mama."