Page 46 of Reaper's Desire

She's too smart—smarter than she looks. I should have anticipated this, should have prepared better answers, but I've been too distracted by wanting her to think clearly. "Think what you want," I say, falling back on the same deflection. "It doesn't change the situation."

"The situation being that I'm stuck with you."

"Yes."

"In shitty hotels."

"Yes."

Her lip pushes out, full and pouty, and I try like fuck to not think about how it felt rubbing along the underside of my cock, all while my dick turns to steel against my fly. "While you refuse to touch me even though we both know you want to."

The shift in topic catches me off guard. I stare at her, my jaw tight, my hands clenched into fists at my sides. "That's not what we're talking about here."

"Isn't it?" She takes another step closer, and now there's barely two feet between us. I can smell her perfume, and itmakes my head swim. My dick throbs. "Because I think it's very relevant, given we're in a room, with beds, and…"

"Isabelle—"

"You fucked me twice in Ibiza." Her voice purrs, sliding over my skin like a touch. "You made me come so hard I couldn't think straight. You pinned me down and bit my neck and made me beg for it. And now you're acting like none of that happened."

I clench my teeth. "It shouldn't have happened."

"But it did." Her chest is rising and falling faster beneath the silk of her blouse, and I can see her pulse throbbing in her throat. I want to fucking bite it. Close my teeth around that beating spot andsuck. I feel pre-cum leak down my shaft at the thought. "And you want it to happen again. I can see it every time you look at me."

My teeth grind together. "What I want doesn't matter."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm trying to keep you alive, and I can't do that if I'm distracted by—" I break off, realizing I've said too much.

"By what? By wanting me?" She reaches out and places her hand on my chest, right over my heart. I can feel it pounding against her palm, betraying every lie I'm trying to tell. Her touch, even over my clothes, is enough to make what blood is left above my cock pound in my ears. "You think I don't notice the way you watch me? The way your hands clench every time I get too close?"

I grab her wrist—not roughly, but firmly enough to make my point—and remove her hand from my chest. "This isn't happening."

"Why not?"

"Because it's a mistake."

"You keep saying that, but you won't explain why." Her eyes search mine, looking for cracks in my armor. "Is it becauseof the danger? Because you think touching me will somehow compromise your ability to protect me?"

"Yes."

"That's bullshit." She pulls her wrist from my grip, but she doesn't step back. "You've been keeping your distance for days, and you're still distracted. I see the way you look at me when you think I'm not paying attention. Denying what we both want isn't making you more focused—it's making you miserable."

She's right. Again. And I hate that she can read me so easily, hate that my control is slipping enough for her to see through it. "It doesn't matter," I say, but the words sound weak even to my own ears. I'm losing this fight, and it's one I can't give in on, for reasons I can't tell her.

"It does matter." She tilts her head, studying me with an intensity that makes my skin feel too tight. "You want me. I want you. We're stuck together anyway. We fucked already. So why are you torturing us both?"

"Because if I touch you again, I won't stop." The admission comes out rough, almost threatening. "I won't be careful or gentle. I'll take what I want, and I won't apologize for it. And we'll keep fucking, just like that, howIwant you, until I find a way to get you out of this. I'll be buried inside you every fucking night, and I won't…"

I won't be watching. I won't be paying attention. I'll be fucking you until we're both drunk with it, exhausted, and it will compromise everything.

And… and I was supposed to kill you.

I expect her to back down. Most women wouldn't like being told that they're going to get used however I please, if I fuck them again—not that I've ever been with a woman who made me feel that way before. But after the way she reacted to my hands around her throat, I should have known better. Instead, herpupils dilate, and her lips part slightly, and I realize with a jolt of heat that she's aroused.

"You think I want gentle?" Her voice drops to a hoarse, lustful whisper. "You think I want you to treat me like I'm fragile? Julian, I've been lying in bed every night remembering how you felt inside me. How you made me beg. How you pinned me down and fucked me until I couldn't think straight. That's what I want. I want the man in Ibiza who fucked me and bit me and choked me. Not some sanitized version where you pretend to be something you're not."

Choked me. I was choking her because I was going to kill her, not because I suddenly became kinky. But she doesn't know that, and the words send a bolt of heat straight through me, so intense it's almost painful. My hands clench into fists at my sides, every muscle in my body tight with the effort of not reaching for her. "You don't know what you're saying."