Page 53 of The Illusion
I make it to my sister’s door and knock before the tears start. By the time she opens it and I walk inside, I'm sobbing so hard I can barely stand.
Jamie takes one look at me and pulls me into her arms. "What happened?"
I can't speak. I just shake my head and cry into her shoulder while she holds me, one hand rubbing circles on my back.
"It's okay," she murmurs. "You're okay. I've got you."
But I'm not okay. I'm so far from okay that I don't even know how to articulate it.
Eventually she guides me to the couch and sits beside me, her hand gripping mine. "Tell me what happened."
I wipe my face with the back of my hand and try to pull myself together. "We had a fight. About Devon. About the online school thing I told you about before I left work."
"Okay."
"I told him I thought we should take our time. That we should talk about it together. That maybe we should try medication or coping strategies before we just pull her out of school entirely." My voice cracks. "And he lost it."
Jamie's jaw tightens. "What do you mean, lost it?"
"He told me I was being ridiculous. That I have an impossible standard. That I'm perfect and he sucks and he's tired of me reminding him of it." The words tumble out faster now, like I can't stop them. "He called me a cunt before he walked out of the room and slammed the door so hard the whole house shook."
Jamie's face goes pale, then red."He did what?"
"He's never talked to me like that. Never. He's never slammed a door. He's never—" I break off, my throat closing. "Jamie, I don't know who he is anymore. I don't recognize him."
"That's because he's showing you who he really is." Her voice is diamond hard now. "And he's a piece of shit."
"I don’t know if I can do this anymore." The words come out in a whisper. "Sometimes… I just want out."
Jamie squeezes my hand. "Then get out."
I would. I can’t even pretend otherwise. If things were different, honestly, I’d have left weeks ago. But things aren’t different. The reality hasn’t changed. Which means I’m stuck.
"It's not that simple."
"Why not?"
Because of the store. Because Dean bought the building and paid off the loan and if I leave Asher before five years, I lose everything. And if I lose everything, Jamie loses everything too. Our business. Our livelihood. Everything we've built together.But I can't say that out loud. I can't put that burden on her. "It's just complicated," I say instead.
"Julie." Jamie's voice is firm. "You don't deserve to be treated like this. You don't deserve to be spoken to like that. You don't deserve to live in a house where you're afraid to have an opinion."
"I know."
"Do you? Because you keep making excuses for him."
"I'm not making excuses. I'm just—" I stop. "Honestly, I don't know what I'm doing."
Jamie opens her mouth to respond, but before she can, there's a knock at the door. We both freeze.
"Are you expecting someone?" I ask.
"No."
The knock comes again, harder this time. Insistent. Jamie stands and walks to the door. She looks through the peephole, then turns back to me with a look of pure fury on her face.
"It's Asher."
My stomach drops. "What?"
