Page 77 of The Illusion
My pulse is loud in my ears. I can feel the warmth of her skin through the thin fabric of the t-shirt. I can feel the curve of her body pressed against mine. I think about what it would belike to slide my hand lower. To test what she smells like beneath the vanilla. To bury my face between her legs and find out if she tastes as sweet as she smells.
I push the thought down. Try to lock it away. But it's there. It's always there now. It never goes away. I am absolutely going to ruin this girl at some point. It’s not a question of if anymore. It’s a question of when.
Devon loves me in a way no one ever has. She just needs me. She looks at me like I'm the only thing keeping her from falling apart. There's no judgment in it. No expectation that I'll be better than I am.
With Julie, I pretend to be someone I’m not. With Devon, I'm just... enough. She shifts again. Her hand finds mine where it rests on her shoulder, and she holds it there. Her fingers are small and warm. She presses my palm flat against her skin, and I can feel her heartbeat beneath my hand.
"Everything’s going to be okay, baby," I whisper into her hair.
She doesn't respond. But she doesn't let go either. Downstairs, Julie is probably eating dinner alone. Probably stewing about why I'm not there.
I stay here in the dark with Devon's hand in mine, her body warm against my chest, and I tell myself this is what responsibility looks like. This is what it means to take care of someone who needs you. Even as my body responds to her warmth and her scent and the deliberate way she's touching me, I tell myself that this isn't wrong. This is just what she needs.
And I'll do whatever I have to do to make sure she's taken care of.
CHAPTER
TWENTY-NINE
ASHER
I textDevon at twelve thirty.
Coming home real quick. We need to talk.
Her response comes immediately.
Sure. I'll be here.
It’s time to prep her for what's coming at therapy today. I chose not to do it before now because I couldn’t take the chance that she’d be too smug around Julie. The house is quiet when I walk through the door. Julie's at the shop. Devon should be getting ready for the appointment later. I hear music coming from upstairs. Something low and rhythmic that I can feel through the floorboards.
I take the stairs two at a time, heading for her room. And then I see her. Devon's bedroom door is open. Wide open. She's standing in front of her full-length mirror wearing nothing. Nothing. Zip. Zero. Zilch. All the fucking Z words.
Her back is to me. Her skin is pale and smooth. Her hair falls down her spine in a dark wave. She's completely naked, turning slightly to examine herself in the mirror. The curve of her ass. The dip of her waist. The line of her spine.
I should leave. I should turn around and walk back downstairs and clear my throat. But I don't. Instead, I stand there and watch her. My pulse kicks up. My mouth goes dry. She shifts her weight from one foot to the other and the curve of her hip catches the light. Then she lifts her head and looks at me in the mirror. She knew I was here.
"Hello, Asher," she says. "Did you want to talk?"
"Yes."
She doesn't move to cover herself. She just stands there, completely exposed. Her breasts are small and perfect. Her stomach is flat and toned. Her thighs are long and lean. "I was just getting ready," she says. "For therapy."
I can't answer. I can't think. All the blood in my body has gone south. She notices. Her gaze drops deliberately, lingering on the bulge in my pants, then comes back up to my face. A small smile plays at the corner of her mouth. "Like what you see?"
“Baby, please. You’re fucking gorgeous. Of course I do.”
I take a step into the room. Then another. I don't decide to do it. My body just moves. She doesn't back away. She watches me approach with that same knowing look. Like she's been waiting for this. Like she orchestrated every second of it.
I stop in front of her. Close enough to touch. Close enough to smell her perfume. That fucking vanilla makes my mouth water. "You should get dressed," I say. My voice comes out rough.
"Should I?" She tilts her head. Innocent and not innocent at all.
I reach out. My hand hovers near her waist. I can feel the heat of her skin even though I'm not touching her yet. There are reasons not to do this. But none of that matters right now.
All that matters is that she's standing in front of me completely naked and she wants this. I can see it in her eyes. She's not scared. She's not confused. She knows exactly what she's doing. I pull her to me.
She gasps at the feeling of my hardness against her stomach. Her body is warm and soft and perfect. Her nipples harden against my chest through my shirt. I slide my hand into her hair and pull her in. Her mouth is an inch from mine. I can feel her breath on my lips. Her hands come up to my chest, fingers curling into my shirt.
