Page 143 of The Illusion
She nods. "Okay."
"Okay."
We sit in silence for a while, the weight of the unspoken hanging between us. And then she leans over and kisses my cheek. "Thank you," she whispers.
"For what?"
"For waiting."
"Always."
CHAPTER
FIFTY-THREE
RYAN
The divorce has beenfinal for almost two months. Asher and Devon got married in Vegas the night it went through. The ink literally wasn't even fucking dry. When I saw the news story the morning after, I worried it would set Julie back. I think it grossed her out more than it hurt her, honestly.
And through it all, I've been waiting for a sign that she’s ready to move forward. I think she’s ready to take some baby steps, so tonight, I'm doing it. I knock on the door. She answers in jeans and a sweater, her hair pulled back, very light makeup. She looks beautiful.
"Ryan?" She glances at the flowers. "What's this?"
"These are for you," I say as I hand over the vibrant pink carnations. The white tulips she used to love are on the no-buy list because Asher ruined them for her. Fucker.
"They're beautiful." She's smiling softly. Waiting to see what's next.
"I have a question."
"Okay..."
"Will you go on a date with me?"
She blinks. "A date?"
"A real date. Not as friends. A date."
"Ryan—"
"I know you're still healing. I know you're not ready for anything serious. But I need to say this."
I take a breath. "When you first moved into 3A, I noticed you. Of course I did. You were wearing your grandmother's engagement ring, and I thought you were in a relationship, so I kept my distance. And then Asher happened, and I told myself it was fine. That I'd missed my chance and that had to be okay."
Her eyes are wide, listening.
"I compared every woman I met to you," I continue. "Every single one. And none of them measured up. But you were with my best friend, and I thought, truly, genuinely thought, he was good for you. That you two were perfect together. That he made you happy and would do anything for you. So I locked it away. I had to."
"Ryan—"
"Let me finish. Please." I swallow hard. "After Dean died, when things started falling apart and you started leaning on me more, I realized I wasn't just attracted to you. I was falling for you. Hard. But even then, even when I could see how much you were hurting, I wouldn't have done anything. If Asher had been a good husband, if he'd treated you right, I would have kept this locked away forever. That's how much I valued our friendship. That's how much I respected your marriage."
Tears are streaming down her face now.
"But then I found out the truth," I say. "That he engineered everything. That he manipulated you, used you, hurt you. And I watched you suffer through it. I watched you break and rebuild yourself. And Julie, I can't keep pretending anymore. I can't keep acting like I don't feel this. Like I haven't been falling harder for you every single day."
"I..." She swallows. "I don't know if I can do this. I’m afraid to trust, Ryan. Sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever be normal again."
"You already are, Julie. He doesn’t get to take that from you. And I'm not asking you to give me anything you're not ready to give. I'm just asking you to let me take you to dinner, not just as friends. As a man who wants to date you. To let me show you what it's like to be with someone who sees you. Really sees you. Who won't manipulate or control or hurt you."
