Page 75 of The Way Home

Hands shaking, Jamie turned each one over to find dates written on the back. They dated back to theweekthe two of them met—

Jamie stood abruptly, almost knocking over his coffee. “I have to go.” He packed up his things as fast as he could. Halfway out the door, he noticed JB smiling at the pile of notes on his desk with a smug look on his face.

The flat was empty when Jamie arrived. Caleb worked on Tuesdays, and it was only—he checked the microwave clock—10 AM. Shit. He just skivved off work to talk to Caleb without eventhinking—

The front door opened, and Jamie spun to see a very shocked Caleb stepping through the door.

His eyes widened. “Jamie?”

“I’m so sorry, I should’ve called.”

“No, it’s fine.” Caleb’s eyes flicked down Jamie’s body, like hewas trying to figure out if they were deceiving him, before he closed the door behind him. His muscles worked beneath his long-sleeved T-shirt, and Jamie had to tryveryhard not to stare.

When he turned back around, Jamie’s heart flew into his throat. “I didn’t mean to barge in on you. What are you… what are you even doing at home?”

“I took the day off and went for a run.” Caleb wiped sweat from his forehead with a palm. “Please don’t apologize for being here. It’s your home, too.” He blinked a few times, cheeks darkening. It was rare to see Caleb flustered.

“I was hoping we could talk,” Jamie said.

The corner of Caleb’s lip twitched with an unsure smile. “Yes, that would be great. Mind if I shower first?” He waved to his sweat-soaked chest, and Jamie nodded.

“I’ll be fast.” Caleb bolted into the bedroom. The shower turned on, and Jamie took a seat on the sofa, noticing how cluttered the living room was.

His heart sank at the open pack of cigarettes on the counter. Looking around the room, his eyes caught on the photograph of them at that wedding, then the rubbish bin with the sticky notes on it. Jamie’s heart sank, imagining Caleb here all alone.

He felt awful.

To pass the time and keep his emotions in check, Jamie picked up his book from the coffee table. After a few minutes of staring at meaningless words in his book, he heard the door to the loo open, and then Caleb rummaged around in the drawers for some clothes.

Caleb’s words from their fight echoed in his head.

I feel like I’m standing here while you live with a stranger you don’t even remember loving.

A week away had been torture, but it had provided Jamie with some clarity. The time provided the space to really imagine things from Caleb’s point of view. To step into his shoes. Jamie imagined going from being inlove, to being engaged, to watching your person get hurt.

To suddenly finding yourself with this wall between you.

Pain shot through Jamie’s chest at the thought.

Caleb slowly emerged from the bathroom wearing fresh joggers and no shirt. Water still clung to the dark skin of his shoulders as he sat on the far end of the sofa, away from Jamie. He looked a bit more relaxed now, but there was a hesitancy to his body language that made guilt flood Jamie’s chest.

Silence stretched while Jamie mustered up the nerve to say something. He couldn’t stop staring at Caleb.

God, he was beautiful. All smooth skin, lean muscles, and gorgeous, dark eyes. He imagined him driving all the way to the British Library to deliver coffee to a man who’d stormed out on him.

“Jamie,” Caleb started, palming the back of his neck. Jamie’s eyes followed a water droplet rolling down Caleb’s torso. “I’m so sorry for what happened.” He squeezed his eyes shut and shuddered. “I know I fucked up, and if you came here to tell me you’re moving out… I understand.”

Jamie turned quickly. “What? No. Caleb, no. I don’t want that.” Caleb’s sad eyes met his. “I really don’t. I’m sorry I left. I just…I got so overwhelmed after what Doctor Wilson told me.”

Caleb’s eyes softened, and he squeezed the top of his thighs, like he was holding himself back from reaching for Jamie. “I know, and I should have been there for you at the doctor. I never should have lied. That was so shitty of me.”

Jamie nodded. “I think if I were in your position, I would maybe have done the same thing. I know how stubborn I can be.”

“I just—sometimes I don’t know what the right thing to do is. I said all the wrong things when you were upset, and I’msosorry.” Caleb’s head fell into his hands, and it broke Jamie’s heart, seeing him look so miserable. “I miss you so much it feels like it’s crushing me,” Caleb whispered. “But it’syouthat I miss, Jamie.Not some old version of you. You have to believe me.”

Tears formed in Jamie’s eyes. “I want to believe you,” he said weakly.

Caleb pressed his palms into his eyes, then looked up.