Page 87 of Ballad of Sea and Sky

She didn’t want this.

“It doesn’t have to mean anything,” I said, holding out a placating hand to her. “We—” I cut myself off with a swallow, feeling irrationally angry at our circumstances. She had been dying. I would have done anything to save her. But it wasn’t because of any political scheme.

Perhaps the Caspian before the island would have used this to his advantage. To force the bond on her and revel in the neat solution to his problems.

But I wasn’t the same male, and I didn’t want Marina to marry me, to mate me, out of obligation. It might make me a fool, but I wanted her love first.

“We can pretend,” I finished, resigning myself to the plan that coalesced in my mind. “Fake the betrothal until you leave.”

And she would leave. The expression in her face was one of devastation and guilt and uncertainty. I couldn’t read her well enough yet to know exactly what she was thinking, but it was clear she wasn’t sure of her own heart yet.

“If we do this,” she said slowly, her gaze fixed on the blankets, “and wedon’tactually marry.“ My heart sank and I fucking wished I could see inside her head. “What will your council think then? If you pitch this as a way to unify our people and reclaim the islands, what happens if we don’t actually marry?”

“We tell the council it was amicable,” I said simply, willing her to look at me. She didn’t. “Agree to work together, then go our separate ways.”

“And if I don’t agree to support your claim to the Silent Isles?” she asked, her heart still pounding too fast in her chest as she avoided my gaze.

“Then I let you go with my blessing,” I replied, trying not to growl in frustration. I felt a muscle tic in my jaw as I clenched my teeth. The idea of letting her go killed something inside me, but I tried not to show it. “I would never force a female into my bed or my life, Marina.”

“And we would continue as we have?” she asked, her gaze finally meeting mine in a whirl of ocean blue.

“With war,” I agreed, my jaw tight.

She was silent for a moment, her eyes holding mine.

“Okay,” she said, settling back in the pillows.

I raised a brow, my heart giving a heavy, excited thump. “Okay?” I laughed, feeling my body sag with relief as I moved to sit on the bed next to her. “You’re not going to argue about this? To accuse me of high-handedness or making choices for you?”

She shrugged, a slight smile curving her lips. “Would you like me to argue?”

“I do enjoy our repartee,” I replied, grinning widely, as I took her in. My beautiful mate. My fake bride-to-be. Skies, I was in trouble. “You’re taking this much better than I thought you would.”

“Then I’m furious,” she deadpanned. “How dare you save my life and secretly betroth us.”

“There’s my stubborn Urchin,” I teased, tucking a strand of loose teal hair behind her ear, unable to stop myself from touching her. “Iamquite a catch, you know. Most females would be thrilled to have me.”

“And there’s my pompous seagull,” she sighed, feigning annoyance. “How ever shall we pretend?”

I felt her flushing warm and happy, and another bout of relief filled me. She wasn’t completely indifferent to me, at least, and the skies knew I loved her. The thought struck me hard at that moment, almost making me reel back in surprise. I loved her, and I would domanyquestionably ethical things to convince her to stay with me at the end of this.

“Youwillhave to pretend you know,“ I said, wanting to make sure she understood what this plan would entail. “Sirens are an expressive people.”

“Selkies are very standoffish,” she replied haughtily, her eyes twinkling with mirth. “So I’m afraid you will have to adapt to my coldness.”

“Hmm,” I teased, taking her hand between mine and twisting our fingers together. I raised our joined hands to my lips, my eyes fixed on hers as I felt her heart flutter at the move. “I can maybe find a way to convince you.”

The urge to kiss her hit me strongly at that moment, and I realized it washerwish, as well as mine. I was feeling her desires and emotions almost as clearly as my own.

She should be able to sense mine, too. Soon, if not yet.

I grinned, pressing a gentle kiss to her lips. It was decidedly too chaste, and she wrinkled her nose in annoyance. “That’s all you get until you’re better,” I laughed, my own desire straining at my trousers.

She smiled, a little hesitantly. “What do I call you now?” she asked, looking up at me and blushing prettily. “How do I act? Do you want me to be political and scheming, or play the sympathetic prisoner role?”

My heart sank again, the joy of being near her and feeling her desires flagging under reality. This was pretend for her, and I’d be a fool to forget it.

“You call me Cas. Or Caspian. Or Seagull,” I teased. “And I want you to be Marina.” I lifted my hand to cup her cheek, stroking her cheekbone with my thumb and reveling in the warm feeling that settled in both of our chests. “To be real. To be curious, and ask a thousand questions, and experience all parts of siren culture. To learn about my people and hear their side of the story.Then, and only then, I want you to decide what to do with what you learn.”