Page 79 of Wild

"What? You need more time to decide whether this is worth it?" She gave a bitter smile and slid her hands into her pockets, hunching into herself. "I don't want this if it's only ever going to happen behind closed doors, or if it only lasts as long as your contract. I know it's way too soon to be asking for anything, that we've barely started, but I can't let myself keep falling for you if I'm all the way in and you're somewhere else entirely. I have to protect myself, Erin, because it hurts like hell, the way you look at me sometimes."

"I don't look at you any particular way, Mia. What are you talking about?" she asked, thrown.

"You look at me the way you're looking at me right now—like I'm something you want but aren't sure is enough."

Erin froze, her tongue a useless muscle she couldn't make work. Mia offered another sad little smile and dropped her gaze, because she'd at least hoped Erin would try to make an excuse.

"I'll be in my room when you come to check my vitals. I'll come by after for my bag."

The singer turned and walked out before Erin found her voice again. She sat on the bed with her hands on her knees and thought about going after her, but Mia didn't deserve to be chased down just to hear some half-baked excuse for Erin's fog that morning. She needed to get clear first—time alone to think about what she wanted and whether she could actually handle it. She leaned forward and buried her face in her hands, pulling at her own hair until the pain knocked the breath out of her.

Then she grabbed her phone and her keycard and headed out to the small meeting room the hotel had set aside for them, where she'd agreed to meet Noah to go over the schedule and anything else that might have come up.

He looked about as lost as she felt. Apparently he hadn't slept much either, and Erin didn't ask whether he'd spent the night with someone because Noah had another meeting with the credentialed press in twenty minutes and he seemed anxious.

"I still don't know what I'm supposed to say about the kiss at the gala," he said out of nowhere. "They're going to ask, and Mia isn't picking up."

Erin felt more out of her depth by the second. This was definitely not her world, and it was becoming very clear she had no idea how it worked.

"What are you supposed to say?"

He blinked and looked at her like she'd grown a second head.

"Have you not seen the internet?" he asked, baffled. "It's everywhere, Erin—everyone's talking about it, and now they're going to grill me about the two of you."

"That's not what I mean. You said Mia isn't answering—what does she need to answer?" To her it seemed obvious. They'd kissed and thousands of people had seen it. What were they going to do, pretend it hadn't happened?

Noah's amused smile made her narrow her eyes, because it was clear he'd understood exactly what she was getting at.

"I asked her if she wants to confirm something's going on between you two, or if she just wants me to say you're friends. They already know you're her doctor, but plenty of lesbians kiss each other on the lips as a greeting. I can sell that if it's what you both want—some people will buy it, some won't, but if nobody feeds the story, the gossip dies down and it becomes just another moment. At the end of the day—" Noah paused and scratched his messy hair.

"What?"

"Well, people always speculate about Mia, but it blows over fast because they've seen her with a lot of women."

Erin's jaw clenched until the bone ached.

"But that doesn't mean it'll be the same with you," he added, clearly uncomfortable. "Mia really likes you—you have no idea how much she's talked about you. I promise, she's never talked about any woman the way she talks about you."

"It doesn't matter, Noah." Erin chose not to hear it, because her chest tightened every time she pictured the hurt look on the singer's face. "She has her past, I have mine. What counts is what's happening now."

"Right, exactly." He smiled, relieved. "So what do I say? Has Mia told you anything?"

The doctor ran a hand through her hair, fighting the urge to pull at it again.

"No, we haven't talked about it. I didn't even know we needed to. Can't you just say nothing? Don't you people use 'no comment' all the time?"

Noah let out a loud laugh.

"Yeah, we do, though I don't think it'll do much in this case. They'll keep pushing until Mia says something herself. But fine, I'll go that route if she still doesn't answer."

After saying goodbye to Noah, Erin went to the gym and spent just over half an hour there, because the thing that usually freed her up and cleared her head wasn't working today—she couldn't shake Mia's expression from her mind, and thinking straight felt impossible.

She toweled off the sweat, stopped by the locker room to wash her face and hands, and left the gym meaning to step outside the hotel and take a walk, hoping that would do what nothing else had.

"Wait, Erin—" The doctor turned and saw Lexie stepping off the elevator, hurrying toward her and catching her before she reached the door.

"What are you doing here?" Erin asked.