Page 57 of Wild

"So you like watching movies at home while you eat popcorn."

Erin laughs.

"Yeah, I guess so."

"Like I said before—you need to get out more and make the effort to meet people. What about women? Or do you go for men too?"

"No, just women."

"And?"

"I don't know, Nell." Erin raises a hand to her hair, and the production manager watches her twist a strand between her fingers.

"Let's try a different approach. What kind of woman are you attracted to? Tall, short, brunette, blonde…"

Erin laughs again and then tugs at her hair, thinking.

"Blonde or light-haired, and I've always been drawn to women shorter than me. They have to be more outgoing, because it's pretty obvious I'm not, and direct—because none of that comes naturally to me, and if I end up with someone like me, dates are a disaster."

"So we already know part of what you want in a woman beyond looks: someone who isn't afraid to ask for what she wants or say what she thinks. What else? Think, Doctor—we're still at the surface."

The answer comes so fast it surprises her.

"Someone who doesn't need me. Who isn't with me just because of that. Someone who looks at me and doesn't just see the doctor."

Mia's blue eyes surface in her mind again. She has that gaze burned into her: the look on her face when she stared up at her after waking from the collapse, disoriented and scared, and every single time she's looked at her since—as if she seessomething in her that even Erin can't see. Her pulse picks up, because Mia doesn't look at her that way out of need. The singer could snap her fingers and have another doctor at her side whenever she wanted. She looks at her that way because she wants something else from her—something Erin still doesn't know if she can give.

"That one matters," Nell says. "And I hope it's clear to you now who you are. In my opinion, you're a woman who's tired of giving without receiving, of living for others without living for yourself—someone who never learned how to ask for what she needed because she thought it was secondary, that it didn't matter." The production manager leans forward. "From now on, get it through your head that the most important thing in your life is you. Find your happiness, Erin. And when you do, decide which people around you deserve a piece of your time."

Erin swallows. She knows Nell is talking about her sister, and she also knows she's right about all of it. She needs to start putting herself first, and she's willing to do it—even if she doesn't know exactly where to start or whether she'll be able to pull it off.

"Thank you, Nell."

"Thank you for trusting me, honey. You going to finish that?" The woman nods at Erin's glass, which she hasn't touched again and is just holding loosely in her hand.

"No," she says, leaning forward to hand it over.

Nell sets her empty glass on the floor beside the armchair and takes a long sip from Erin's.

"That was a good conversation," she says, satisfied. "And I hope you don't forget it. That every time you think you don't know who you are, you remind yourself that you're a very interesting, intelligent, attractive, and young woman. Don't waste your life, Erin. You've already spent too many years giving yourself away—it's time to start living for yourself."

"I know. And I will." Erin plants her hands on the armrests and stands up.

"What are you doing?" Nell's look is so pointed that Erin freezes. "You are not leaving here without telling me what's going on with Mia. I'm no psychic, but the two of you radiate so much sexual tension whenever you're in the same room that it's hard to miss. Well—Noah probably has no idea unless Mia tells him, because that boy lives in his own little cloud." Nell makes a gesture, lifting her hand toward the ceiling, and Erin sits back down, cracking up.

"I like Noah," she says, crossing a leg to rest her ankle on her knee.

"Everybody likes that boy. He's a sweetheart, and I hope he finds someone just as good someday—but we're not here to talk about Noah."

Erin curves a smile and looks at her.

"I don't know what you want me to say, Nell. Whatever's happening with Mia has me completely confused."

"But you like her."

"Yeah, I think so."

Nell raises an eyebrow.