Page 35 of Backward Motion

Sam let out an embarrassed laugh. “How do you know about that?”

“Brian told me. Said you guys worked on it back in the day.”

Sam’s eyes widened. “Please don’t tell me he showed it to you.”

“No, but now I’m intrigued.” Connor waggled his eyebrows. “Is it raunchy?”

“Ugh, no, just incredibly cringeworthy. I’d never live it down.” Sam screwed up his face. “ThinkDonnie DarkomeetsKill Bill.”

“I don’t even know how to unpack that.”

Sam burst out laughing and covered his mouth with his hand. “Neither do I—gory, psychological, fewer bunny ears. It was of a place and time. But it was fun to write. We worked out the general plot and then each wrote different sections at a time.”

“Well, I think it’s a great idea. And I get the sentiment. Trivia’s like that for me. I was such a dunce at school that learning stuff—even inane, stupid facts—kind of makes me feel smart. I know that’s dumb, but for some reason, it helps when life feels pretty blah.” Connor noticed Sam looking at him with a strange expression and felt immediately self-conscious. “What?”

“Nothing. You’re a real enigma, Connor Finnegan.”

“Why, thank you.” Connor lifted the bottle of beer to his mouth and knocked it back to hide his nerves. “You said you kind of fell into marketing. Is that what you really wanted to do—make movies?”

Sam glanced over at the couple seated beside them, drinking coffee. “I don’t know. Back then, I just wanted to get the fuck out of Oakdale. A degree in business seemed like a sure bet. Would I have made the same choice if things had been different? I’m not sure.” He paused. “I don’t think I’ve ever said that out loud. It’s always been this murky feeling I didn’t have words for.”

Connor knew what he meant. He felt a sudden closeness to Sam; they were more alike than he’d realized. “I’m not sure I would have become an electrician if I’d had my shit together.”

Sam’s mouth quirked into a grin. “Is it weird that I think it suits you?”

Connor chuckled. “I mean, it’s not that I don’t like the job. It’s kind of grown on me.”

Sam cleared his throat and looked down at the remains of the sandwich abandoned on his plate. “Do you want to go somewhere?”

“What were you thinking—ice cream?”

Sam gave him a shy smile. “Maybe your place?”

Connor swallowed hard and tried to keep his face neutral despite the pounding in his chest. “Yeah, sure.” He raised an arm to flag down the server for the bill.

Ice cream could wait.

They made the drive back to Oakdale in record time, and after a brief segue of standing around Connor’s kitchen, making small talk and pretending they both didn’t know what they really wanted to be doing, Sam had taken Connor’s hand, and they’d stumbled into the bedroom.

Lying on the bed, Connor kissed Sam’s cheek, his chin, the curve of his ear. “What are you into?” he asked, his voice thick with want.

Pressed against him, Sam could feel the firm bulge of Connor’s erection beneath his pants. Connor always seemed to operate on such an even keel. Sam hadn’t realized how much he’d been holding back.

He began to panic. This was the furthest they’d gotten, and he wanted to make sure Connor was happy—that he didn’t disappoint him. But he hadn’t been able to get a read on Connor sexually.He could only go off his experience of what someone like Connor—physically imposing, straight talking, confident—would want.

“You can choke me. Just don’t spit in my mouth.” Sam figured anything else, he could handle.

Connor froze and lifted his head to look at him. “Uh, I don’t think I’m up for that.”

Sam felt his skin burn.

Connor gave him a small smile. “I meant more like giving or receiving or neither, because that’s cool as well.”

Sam had never had to spell it out before. Usually things got started, and he just followed the other guy’s cues. “I don’t know why you’re confused,” he scoffed, trying to displace some of his own embarrassment. “It’s not like I give off dom top vibes.”

“I don’t really do labels,” Connor said gently. “Or make assumptions. That’s why I’m asking.”

They both sat up, suddenly awkward.