Page 3 of Bound By Blood and Lies

I dread to see what I look like. The body parts I can see don’t fare well but it’s the itchiness of the welts on my back that I worry about the most. Bruises may fade but what has happened to us will scar our minds for eternity. I’d rather not have a visual reminder of it too.

“You remember first year?” I murmur because I need her mind somewhere else. Robyn stays silent so I continue, “when you hung those ridiculous fairy lights and I told you they were tacky?”

“You said pink should be illegal,” she chuckles out a half-arsed sound. It cracks halfway through like even that hurts.

“It should be,” I sniff. “It’s a passive aggressive colour. Orange is the only right choice.”

“Orange is designed to give people a headache.”

“Pink is designed for Barbies.”

Her fingers twitch toward mine and I catch them, threading our hands together carefully so I don’t press on either of our bruised skin. My lips lift in a smile; it’s always been the same argument. It wasn’t until she threatened to paint my room orange that I shut up and let her win. Even I can’t cope with that amount of colour.

“I thought you hated me,” she admits and my head whips to face hers before wincing at the fast movement. My heart pounds at the memories of our first meeting, at how bubbly and full of life she was.

“I did,” I respond and she gives me the tiniest glare as I squeeze her hand. “For about six hours. Then you offered me half your chocolate bar and trauma bonded me for life.”

Her eyes close and another watery laugh falls out of her mouth as her tears slow.

“I don’t want this to be our story,” she whispers.

“It isn’t,” I respond immediately. “This is just a chapter angel; it’s not our ending.”

Robyn’s breathing stutters as I cup her face carefully to avoid the swelling. She doesn’t know it yet but every time one of them comes in, I look for a route, a plan, a weak link. I may not be at my best but it doesn’t mean I have given up. If Roman isn’t coming, if Felix can’t, if Atlas or Riggs or Victor have given up then it means I have to do it for us all.

And I will.

Robyn looks at me as if she’s searching for the lie.

“They have broken us,” she says.

“They haven’t,” I state with conviction. “Do you hear me, Robyn? You’re not broken; I’m not broken. Our bodies are bruised, our hearts hurt but we are not broken. The worst thing they did was put us together. I am never, ever, letting this be the end of our story.” My voice breaks. “Please don’t give up, I need you to fight for a little while longer.”

A shiver racks through my body as goose pimples spread across every sensitive nerve. The room is small and cold but it’s the warmth between us that I hold on to. Robyn looks at me, I can still see that fire in her eyes as she gives me a gentle nod, and I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding. I dip the cloth again and clean the blood from her collarbone as we fall into silence.

Each movement is deliberate. It reminds me of the way Roman touched me. It’s the way you touch something you love and don’t want to damage further. Another painful thud hits myheart as I remember the last thing I said to him. Does he know I love him? Does he know I was just scared and thought I was protecting him? Is he now safe or has the person Quinn was working for hurt him too? Is that why he isn’t here?

“Talk to me,” Robyn whispers as I’m pulled out of my musings.

It’s always better when we talk, when we think of happy moments or plans. It takes away the harsh reality of what we are living in. Taking a breath, I put the cloth back in the water before tilting my head and squeezing her hand.

“You once told me you wanted a cottage by the sea,” I murmur.

“With flowers round the door.”

“Obnoxiously happy ones,” I nod.

“And a dog,” she adds faintly.

“An ugly one.”

“Rude.”

“We’ll get the ugliest dog in the county.” I smile despite myself.

I lean forward to press my forehead to hers again. I never realised how much I needed this from Roman until it was taken from me. Every time he did it, it anchored me, made me feel safe and loved and after a few weeks without it I realise exactly how powerful it can be. I hope I can give her that. Give her one small ounce of peace here like she gives me.

“You really think it’ll get better?” Robyn asks with a sniffle.