Page 130 of Bound By Blood and Lies

An uneasy feeling twists in my stomach. Part of me feared this was the case but with everything else going on we haven’t even attempted to see if anything has continued since Longstaff died.

“There are men inside this organisation far more dangerous than Bradley ever was,” he continues. “Men who don’t care that he’s dead because they were never loyal to him in the first place. They were loyal to the machine.”

“What machine?” I demand as every hair on the back of my neck stands upright.

“You should be careful, little swallow,” his eyes flick meaningfully toward my stomach. “Especially now you’ve given yourself something to lose.”

Rage slices straight through the fear. I shove myself away from the wall instantly and step directly into his space.

“Listen to me carefully,” I hiss. “I survived Fisher. I survived being hunted. I survived your precious Founders and every disgusting man hiding behind this organisation. So, if you thinkI’m about to cower because you cornered me in a hallway then you’re even more delusional than I thought.”

Approval flashes in Harding’s eyes. “You’ve got fire. That’s why they’ll come for those you love first.”

My stomach drops.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” A voice cuts through the silence.

Harding’s body jolts as he steps back and turns around. Robyn appears at the end of the hallway like a storm. Her mascara is ruined from crying and her chest heaves violently beneath her black dress as she marches toward us. She reaches inside her clutch before pulling out a gun and I gasp at the sight of my friend holding it unwavering towards Harding’s head.

“Get the fuck away from her before it’s your blood spilt here,” she barks.

Harding straightens his coat calmly before looking back at me one final time.

“This isn’t over,” he says softly as he walks away.

The silence Harding leaves behind feels almost as heavy as the funeral itself. I stare after him whilst my heart slams violently against my ribs and questions spiral endlessly through my head. What machine? Who else? How deep does this actually go?

Beside me Robyn’s breathing stays uneven as her finger remains steady on the trigger until Harding finally disappears around the corner. Only then does some of the tension leave her body and the safety clicks back on. Robyn lowers the gun slowly before stuffing it back into her clutch bag with shaky hands. The second she looks back at me the anger drains from her face completely.

There’s a heavy awkwardness sitting in the air.

It’s the first time we’ve been alone together since the fight and it feels like a chasm the size of the Sahara Desert has openedup between us. I offer her a polite smile, not really knowing what else to do as we end up staring at each other in silence. Fuck this. Roman will probably be wondering where I got to.

Swallowing my pride, I mumble a, “Thank you,” before turning away.

I don’t get very far before Robyn launches herself at me. I stumble backwards slightly from the force of it as her arms wrap around my neck, pulling me down to meet her halfway.

“I’m sorry,” she sobs against me instantly. “I’m so fucking sorry, Fae.”

Shock roots me to the spot before my arms wrap around her. Her whole body shakes violently against mine whilst months’ worth of hurt seems to pour out of her.

“It’s okay,” I choke out. “It’s all going to be okay.”

“None of this is okay.” She clings onto me and tears start to well up in my own eyes because she’s right.

What she’s been through, what I’ve been through, what our whole fucking friend group has been through is literally the definition of ‘not okay’ and I start squeezing her harder as we rock side to side whilst the destruction and weight of everything that’s happened settles over us.

“She was so easy to love,” she speaks into my shoulder as her sobs slowly start settling and I nod wordlessly. “She made me feel like I was easy to love too. I finally felt like I had a home, you know? I’ve wanted one for so long that losing her made me feel like I was six again being passed from foster parent to foster parent.”

“I’m sorry,” my voice cracks but she immediately shakes her head.

“You have nothing to apologise for.” She clears her throat as we slowly step back from each other. Her hand stays wrapped tightly around mine as we look at each other. “I never should’ve said that to you. All I wanted was a mum and I know she wasn’tactually mine, but I couldn’t stop it, Fae. I couldn’t stop needing her and then she was just…”

Gone.

The word never leaves her mouth but it hangs heavily between us anyway as guilt claws viciously at my stomach. Before it can consume me completely, I lift my free hand and cup her face gently.

“Hey,” I whisper firmly. “You don’t need to apologise for grieving.”