Page 21 of The Sound of Him

“The search for Mica is getting close, I think,” I tell him a little desperately. “Seems like every operatives’ coping mechanism at the moment is digging through all my files, which is helpful. Ihave a feeling whatever hint of where he is might be something my algorithm won’t pick up.”

“And Maison and Carter?” he asks, completely ignoring my attempt at changing topics.At least he didn’t ask about Bryce… yet.“You think they’ll work things out?”

Yes.

No.

I don’t know.

God, I really fucking hope so.

“You know how it is with brothers. They’ll be okay.”

Hehmmsunder his breath. I can see him again, bringing that cigarette to his lips and sucking in the poison. I used to think he was so fucking cool. I wanted to be just like him.

He’d laughed so hard the first time he caught me trying to smoke. I’d thrown up a few seconds later. After he rubbed my back and got me a glass of water, he’d wrapped an arm around my shoulders and kissed me on the head. At the time, I hadn’t noticed the sadness in his eyes when he’d said,“See, kid? Not so fun being me. You just be you, okay?”

“At least one of them isn’t a psychopath,” Keaton jokes dryly. “They’ve got that going for them, at least.”

“So do you. Or are you calling me a psychopath, Keaton?”

His voice is a little unsteady when he asks, “You calling me your brother, Ace?”

It’d hurt, if I didn’t know him so well. It’s not that he doesn’t feel the same. This man wears his heart on his sleeve too often for me to doubt that. He just needs the confirmation. He needs to hear me say it. I can do that for him as many times as he needs.

“Yeah, Keaton. I am. The best big brother, honestly. No offense to yours or anything, but… at leastI’mnot a psychopath.”

He laughs, the sound watery. I’ve always been good at getting him to laugh when he’s in his darkest places. It was my superpower. He was the hero, but I was always the one trying to bandage him up - at least, once I was old enough to realize there was a need for bandaging.

He laughs.

But then he cries.

I sit, quiet, and let him cry for a while. I’ve always been good at that too. At just being there, the anchor in the storm.

I don't rush him. Mostly because I think he needs the release. A little because there’s only one update left and I don’t want to give it.

I let my gaze wander to the part of the screen displaying the kitchen again. Bryce is there, getting the meal ready for everyone.

Keaton takes two more long drags from his cigarette before breathing out a hoarse, “Ace.”

“I know.”

I close my eyes, forcing myself to breathe.

He wants to know how Bryce is?

Bryce is angry. Bryce has already stolen a knife. Bryce isn’t sleeping.

Bryce is ready to burn the world down.

Bryce is ready to burn the world down and I’m afraid you’ll help him. I’m afraid you’ll let him burn you right down with it.

I start with a careful truth. “Bryce is hanging in there.”

He exhales, shaky, and waits.

I can’t help myself. I give him more.