Page 167 of The Sound of Him

He gives me a look that very clearly means no arguing. It’s a convincing look.

“Alright.” I let my body sink into the couch a little harder. “Yeah. Alright. Maybe - yeah. Sleep would probably be good, I guess. I just - uh.” My eyelids are so heavy that it physically hurts to keep forcing my eyes open. There’s something I need to tell him, though. Something important.

I just can’t quite remember…

He pulls the blanket a little higher up on my shoulders and stands.

I reach out without thinking, grabbing his hand. He freezes for just a second before relaxing again. He signs,What?

“Don’t - could you maybe-” I let go of his hand, realizing this isn’t fair of me to ask. But I’m so fucking tired. I don’t want to have to set an alarm. “I’ve been struggling. To sleep, I mean. I - I’m sorry. You don’t have to - I just thought maybe - well, I just sleep better when - actually never mind.”

He watches me for a moment before heading toward the door. The amount of disappointment I feel watching him walk away is absurd, really. I shouldn’t even have enough energy to feel something so strongly right now.

He doesn’t leave, though.

He just locks the door and dims the lights before coming back toward me. I had moved the coffee table to the side earlier, to make room for everyone who wanted to watch Elliot’s rescue. The move has left a large stretch of open floor in front of the couch. I watch with heavy-lidded eyes as he reaches into his hiding spot and pulls the rest of his blankets out.

He lays a few on the floor before kneeling on them.

“Oh, wait, no. You should take the couch.”

I start to sit up.

He places a hand on my chest and very gently presses me back.

He leaves his hand there after, warm through the fabric of my shirt. It’s right over my heart. My heart that’s somehow finding the energy to race at the moment.

I feel a lot colder when he removes it to reach into his pocket to pull out the iPod I had given him, the same wired earbuds wrapped around the width of it. I get a little dizzy watching him unravel it, which ends with me startling like an idiot when I suddenly feel one of the ear buds being slipped into my left ear. He locks his eyes with mine as he puts the other in his right ear.

Then he signs a full sentence using the proper ASL grammar that Adam has been working on him with - his first one directed at me. It takes a little work to get my brain to process the details out of order, it will for a while, but it really does make it easier to understand in the end.I’m not tired but I’ll keep you safe while you sleep.

I believe him.

My voice is thick, words slow with my exhaustion, but I manage to tell him, “I’m really glad I met you.”

He smiles, big and bright.

It’s sunshine warm and settles right in my chest. I have to close my eyes then. It’s impossible not to, the feeling hitting like a drug.

There’s a beat of silence as my body grows heavy, my mind already blurring around the edges. I feel something soft tickle against my hand where it’s curled up by my chin. I peek through my lashes. He’s laid his arms on the cushion, his head on top of them. He’s openly watching me. The sunshine smile is softened, but still on his lips.

I was wrong before, when I thought he was pretty.

He is the most beautiful thing to ever exist.

The brightest splash of color in a world full of darkness.

A song begins playing in my ear.

Lean on Me.

I somehow find enough energy to lift a corner of my mouth into a smile.

I forget to worry about nightmares, but that’s alright.

I sleep through the night without a single one.

Chapter Thirty-three