Page 69 of Found Through Fire

She stays quiet, most likely trying to find a way to untangle herself from me and show me the door. “I was a dick to you at first because I saw how everyone at Vital treats you. I thought you were a spoiled brat that everyone worshipped. But then I saw you how they did. I understood why everyone treats youlike you are the center of the universe, because you are. You care about them and fight for them. I get the men at Vital being obsessed with you. I thought it was because you led them on, but it’s because you see them as individuals, not just part of an army.”

She lifts her face towards me again, and her eyes meet mine as she asks, “What men?” while looking at me like I’m crazy for thinking that people are interested in her. That was not what I thought she would focus on, but I should stop trying to guess what is going to come out of her mouth. I will always be wrong.

“You don’t need to worry about that,” is all I reply while pulling her back to me and settling her head back on its newly claimed spot on my chest. She doesn’t need to worry about other men. She is mine. Well, and Flame’s, too, but that’s fuckin’ it.

We stay like that for a bit; I’m guessing she’s going over what I said. Every second that crawls by is making my skin feel tight as I wait for her to say something. Unfortunately for her, I’m too selfish to stay away from this challenging and infuriating woman. I can’t see her face, but I get more tense as we lay there, wondering which of my many sins she will pick to start being disgusted with.

But like always, my spitfire shocks the shit out of me and starts gently tracing designs on my chest again with her finger. “I’m sorry that happened with your wife, Greyson. Thank you for telling me.” I’ve hated my full name all my life, but when she says it, it almost sounds intimate.

I wait for a moment for her to finish the rejection that I’m certain is coming. When it doesn’t, I ask, “That’s it? You hear that I ruined my wife’s life because I was a piece-of-shit husband to her, and then I took my anger out on you by being a dick, and all you have to say is ‘thank you for telling me’?” I’m not sure if I’m pissed that she doesn’t understand what I told her, or if it’sbecause she does understand it, and she’s not holding it against me like I deserve.

“What else is there to say? Everyone has a past. I can’t hold something against you that I wasn’t there for, or even a part of. It’s a horrible situation, and I’m so sorry that you lost her like that, but you changed because of it, that’s all a person can do,” she says, and once again, I’m hit with the fact that she is way too good for me. She looks up at me in my shocked state and says, “Wanna go to the gym with me and Knox? He seemed irritated when I brought up not sparring yesterday.”

I feel the edges of my mouth start to turn up and release her from my hold that was keeping her on the bed with me. The only things that could get me out of this bed would be to go see my girl work out in tight shorts, watching Flame try to keep up with her, and maybe having a chance to kick his ass in the ring.

CHAPTER 29

WILLOW

It’s been over a week, and the stalker hasn’t left any more bad poetry or pictures. The guys are with me every time I leave the house, and they usually hang around me when I’m working at home. I thought it would drive me crazy to always have one of them around, but surprisingly, I haven’t had the urge to stab anyone. I will be on my laptop on the couch while they hang out and do their own thing, usually pulling me into a snuggle while we work, which I’m not complaining about.

I never thought I would be okay with someone constantly having their hands on me. I never liked strangers touching me, but when it comes to Knox or Grey, I always find myself leaning into it.

Grey will read one of his biographies like an “old man,” which he does not appreciate me pointing out, and Knox will sketch or work on paperwork for the shop. He is just happy that Jackson will be home soon and be back in charge of it. I think he left it for Knox as a punishment for not going to the expo with him.

I’m still trying to figure out what’s going on between the three of us. Knox will give me small, sweet kisses every time he says goodbye as he leaves for the shop. His arms are pulling me to him whenever I’m within grabbing distance. But that has beenit since mine and Grey’s relationship changed into whatever it is now.

Grey’s touch is subtle, so much so that it took me a few days to realize that his hand brushing against my waist when he passes me, or that him slowly inching closer to me as we sit, is deliberate.

After a day or two, they became more intentional. I haven’t seen either of them get jealous or possessive. I would shut that down real fast. I have been around men with egos my entire life, and I refuse to have a standoff in my home… Unless I’m in the standoff. Then that’s okay.

Grey has a habit of kissing the top of my head as he walks by, or my forehead before he leaves on the days that Knox stays with me. Every night before bed, all three of us end up on the couch, watching a crime documentary or a cooking show. I know they do it for me, but I think they are starting to really get into them. After Grey slept in my room, Knox was annoyed. He made the rule that they get to switch off on that, too, so from that moment on, I’ve woken up wrapped around one of them.

You would think that after a few days, seeing them shirtless would lose its effect, but it turns out it hasn’t. I think it amuses them that I still blush and try my hardest not to check out their toned, muscled stomachs, the gorgeous tattoos that I want to trace with my fingers, or the deep V of their hips that disappear into their shorts. If I have to have my brain melt because of how sexy they are much longer, I swear I am going to fucking snap.

I appreciate them taking whatever this is slow, but a girl can only take so much! I have no idea if they are just doing this for the time that they stay here, or if they are going to ask me to choose when they get to leave and life goes back to “normal.” That thought alone makes my heart race. No matter who I chose, neither relationship would really work out.

Being with Knox means that I would have to be involved in his club, and besides Jackson, I don’t think I want to be around his Brothers. I would never be able to let my guard down there. If they teamed up against my young, sweet mom because she was an outsider, what would stop them from doing the same to me? As the President, he would be the face of the club, and I would have to spend time at the clubhouse if I ever wanted to see him. I don’t think I can do that without it ending in casualties.

I know that as the President’s ‘Ol Lady, Aunt Jaz has to hold her tongue and “not make waves.” I would never be able to do that. Not to mention the fact that he is Jackson’s best friend. That would be asking for a shit show.

Then there’s Grey. I always wanted to keep a possible love life separate from my family. Which is probably the reason that I have never had a relationship, since I am always either working or hanging out with my family. I love them, but they can be overbearing on their best days. Grey loves his job and the soldiers at Vital. He fits there, and I would never want to ruin that for him if we didn’t work out.

I’m not sure how he would even feel about a real relationship after how his marriage ended. How would I be able to trust that he won’t get all tortured and broody and pull away from me, leaving me all alone while he pulls himself out of it?

Even with their flaws, I don’t think I could make that choice. It hasn’t been that long, but I couldn’t imagine hurting one of them. I need to sit down with them and just ask them what is going on. I’m already going in blind. With my limited experience, even though I decided to let go and let things happen, I can’t stop my insecurities or the lists of how things could go wrong.

I never wanted to be like this! One of those girls that sits around, overanalyzing everything about a relationship that isn’t even official. I need to put on my big girl panties and just askthem, even if it may bring an end to whatever this is. It’s better to end it now if it’s not real. I may feel embarrassed and hurt, but it would be better to cut things off before I fall any deeper and can’t recover.

I try to map out exactly what I’m going to say as I make dinner. So far, all I have is that I am going to make a huge dinner, act like everything is normal, then start the conversation. The only problem is that I have no fucking clue how to do that! I realize I'm going to have to wing this and hope that they don’t realize that I am an insecure, socially awkward mess that isn’t worth all of the work that they seem to be putting in.

I’m lost in thought, standing at the stove and flipping the steaks that I took out this morning, when I feel arms wrap around my waist. I tense at first in surprise and look down at the arms. I see the full sleeve of colorful tattoos that I have had time to memorize over the last week and relax into Knox’s embrace.

“What are you making?” he asks against the skin between my neck and shoulder and gives me a small nip, making goosebumps erupt all over my body.

Clearing my throat to try and hide how much he is affecting me, I reply, “Steaks. I have some sides in the oven. I figured we would go big tonight since you had a hard time in the gym this morning.” I try to hold back my laughter, but I know he can hear it in my voice.

“You and Grey are fuckin’ insane! I’m not actually sure if you are even human at this point. I wouldn’t be surprised if Grey was a droid or lizard person, but I’ll keep working out with you guys. Watching you kick his ass during sparring is worth the unnecessary torture,” he says as he pulls away from me and leans against the counter next to the stove, crossing his arms while looking down at me.