Page 71 of Until Death or Defeat

“Our half-brother? Yes, he is. I’ve known that for a long time. He told me that when we were in middle school. I didn’t really believe him...not until Uncle Robert killedMom five years later.”

I don’t really listen as they continue, lost in my own thoughts.

Is it right, though? I’m pretty sure that . . .

“Earth to Artem,” she says waving a hand in my face. “Why are you all zoned out? Because I honestly don’t think I can handle much more shock in one night.”

“It’s probably nothing, I think I must be remembering something wrong.”

“What is it?” Caesar asks.

“I thought that Roman said the autopsy reported long-range shots to the back of her head and back. If your uncle was with her when she died, he couldn’t have done that.”

“Well, maybe Roman is wrong? We have to ask,” she says, hopeful that Roman is wrong. Not because she wants it to have been her uncle, but that sheneedsclarity. She needs closure. She needs her mother’s death to be solved and over or she can’t be at peace yet.

“But if your brother is right, then...could Uncle Robert really not have killed her? Why would he not plead his case?” Caesar asks out loud.

“I have to go see him,” she says, turning to me.

“What? Giselle, that man?—”

“No, Artem. He isn’t just...thatman! He’s my biological father and we have an inkling of a doubt that he killed my mother! If my own dad won’t tell me anything, maybe he will. I don’t think I could live with myself if I didn’t hear him out...I need to know what happened to her that night. And...I need to talk to him about the affair. If he didn’t kill her then maybe...”

“Gigi, you need to let this be. Dad forbade us from speaking to Uncle Robert, and he seriously might have killed mom. And just because there is an inkling of a chance, there’s also aninkling of a chance he had someone kill her so he didn’t have to.”

She shakes her head. “No, this is all wrong, Caesar. Helovedmom. You really think he’d do that?”

She looks excited, like all of her life is finally falling into place. Her hope that she can fix her fucked-up family...it breaks my heart. Because I know that I’ll be the one to pick up the pieces if everyone disappoints her.

But I’ve found that I’d walk through fucking fire to carry her to safety, even if I told her it would burn and she stubbornly disobeyed.

So don’t worry,lyubimaya.

I will be the one still here when your world comes crashing down.

17

Giselle

Ifeel like a few hours ago, my world was small. I was so unsure and unaware, trapped in the small box everyone had put me in, and I felt useless.

But now? The world is big. I have so much to do, so much Icando.

I feel like I just solved everything I ever needed to about my life and my family. Most importantly, I can stop feeling like I was the reason why my family fell apart. I have a chance to make everything right again, byactuallysolving her murder and bringing all of us back together again.

I can feel deep in my heart that Uncle Robert didn’t kill her. I know him. I...guess I’m also his. Maybe that’s weird, but wouldn’t you love and miss the daughter you know you had with the love of your life? Wouldn’t you want to know her more?

I can’t even fathom reaching out to my dad, who is God-knows-where hiding away. I’m sure this was all because heknewI’d find out soon. He better be ashamed of it, andone day when I’m finally ready to confront him, I won’t let him talk his way out of it.

I won’t let him leave the room and ignore me ever again. He’s going to have to face me while he sees how much he’s hurt me.

I’m not so delusional that I think Uncle Robert and I will change overnight...but I can’t help but hope that we can at least stay in touch. My dad is my dad, as much as I hate him right now, but it isn’t wrong to crave something more with Uncle Robert. Maybe he can tell me beautiful things about my mother that I never knew. Maybe he doesn’t think I’m such a mess.

Artem and Roman seem to think I’m being too optimistic...but that isn’t fair. Why can’t I hope to find closure and happiness from this? Why does everyone have to be so damn negative and assume shitty things are coming?

God, I need someone annoyingly positive to talk to so I can work up my nerve to go see my uncle tonight.

Good thing I know just the person.