Page 54 of Until Death or Defeat

“Does this have something to do with Sara?”

My eyes flick up quickly whenshe says that.

Sara.

Images of her smiling, bright face start flashing through my head like a slideshow. I’ve tried so hard to keep her from making her way back to the front of my mind and focus on my new duties, and Giselle.

“How do you know about her?”

“I don’t know enough, apparently.”

I sigh, going to walk out of the basement as she follows behind. We walk over to the den so I can pour myself a drink to be able to handle this conversation.

I offer her a glass and she takes it, downing it quickly and immediately gagging.

“Jesus fuck, what is this? Rubbing alcohol?”

I laugh as I pour myself my own drink and take a sip.

“You have to get used to it now,” I say with a smirk, but it quickly drops. “Sara was...my girlfriend. She died almost ten years ago.” I say it casually, hoping she might not probe further, but of course she does.

“So, around when we met then?”

I nod, lifting the glass to my mouth again.

“Is that why you were even worse back then than you are now?”

I lift my eyebrows in a quick motion, a smile almost playing on my lips at her words. “I guess so,” I mutter.

“How did she die then?”

I look down to the counter of the bar before I answer.

“She was killed.”

I see her tilt her head, almost sensing how her beautiful wheels begin turning.

“Was she in the bratva or something? Is that your problem?”

“No, she wasn’t even remotely related to or involved with any of the Families.”

“So?”

I shake my head, setting the glass down.

“So, I was careless, and I got her killed. I let her get too close to the bratva.”

I can almost see understanding in her eyes, and she goes silent as I’m sure her mind is running through a million possibilities.

“I lose the woman I loved, and then a few months later I meet some loud-mouthed girl who is dying to put herself in the same position.”

Her eyes search mine as she narrows them; probably trying to decide if this changes something about her view of me.

“I meant what I said that day on the roof. Bad men will take a pretty woman like you and end you in the blink of an eye. Use your body and then take your life in the same breath, like you were nothing but an inconvenience to them. It doesn’t matter how smart you are, it doesn’t matter how bad you want to be involved and do something you think matters, you willneverbe able to stop your fate. It could’ve happened to you tonight.”

“But it didn’t,” she quickly answers, keeping her tone soft.

“No, not tonight at least. It could happen tomorrow, next week, next year.Thisis what you have to worry about now, being a Sokolov. Do you know how many men want my family dead?”