Page 50 of Until Death or Defeat

“God Gigi, what is going on? I haven’t seen you like this in years.”

“What’s going on? Only that I just realized I’m some twenty-something cliché with daddy issues and no future who is married to a complete sociopath who has a double life as a fucking sex demon trying to ruin my?—”

“Okay. Take a breath. You’re going to pass out talking that fast.”

I try to stop myself and close my eyes and breathe for a moment. “I fucked up, Reina. I don’t know why but I said some weirdly intimate shit to Artem by accident and now suddenly he’s making me cum on a random Wednesday morning.”

Her facial expression causes my face to contort in humiliation as her jaw drops.

“Sorry—say that again? Making youwhat?”

“Please don’t make me say it again, I’m fucking mortified. I let him touch me and it was too real and normal, and I don’t know what to do.”

“Have you considered just...letting things develop however they do naturally? You’re overthinking this a lot.”

“Is that a joke? How could I ever do that after all these years? You don’t even know the extent of the things he and I have...” I start to say but let my sentence taper off.

I don’t really want her to knowallthe things we’ve done to each other, especially whatI’vedone over the years. Not that she’d make me feel bad but...I don’t want yet another person to think I’m crazy.

“Look Gigi, I’ve been trying to tell you since the engagement news that you need to relax more. You’re so uptight that you’re gonna lose it. Actually, I think that’s what’s happening right now,” she says with a laugh.

“I’m barely on speaking terms with my father after what he said to me or my brother for disappointing me and the only man in my life now is Artem and my stupid, fucked up head is getting all confused.”

“Why haven’t you talked to Caesar since the wedding? I thought you were going to apologize?” she asks, her expression turning more serious.

“I don’t know...he’s busy. I also know I’m projecting my anger at my father on him, but I can’t help but feel some type of way about his involvement either. It’s like the two men I trusted the most in my life just fucking basically turned on me out of nowhere and now the one I hate is the only one left to pick up the pieces. And why the fuck is heactuallypicking them up Reina? Why is he not just letting me bleed?”

“Letsomeonepick up your pieces. You deserve that much, don’t you? Whether it’s Artem or not, does it matter? You’re married now, so all the other stuff just doesn’t apply anymore, right?”

I scoff, and she purses her lips. “If it was that simple, we wouldn’t have had the relationship we’ve had for so long. I don’t know, I feel like I need to get out of here for a while and touch grass. Maybe we could?—”

Before I could finish, her boyfriend knocks on thebathroom door.

“Gigi I hate to just go, but we have to make it for a work lunch of his and?—”

“No, no. I’m sorry. Enjoy your lunch,” I say with a convincing smile and hang up.

I sigh as I toss my phone on the bed and stare up at the ceiling as if it’s going to magically heal me.

God, I don’t even feel like I can talk to anyone about this because no one gets it. I knew she’d say what she did, I knew she’d just try to convince me to enjoy myself and stop overthinking, but it isn’t fair to just expect me to let go of the past and simply let things be.

Maybe if my mom was here, she would try to actually understand me and just let me be myself instead of trying to make me change.

I end up spending my day trying to get over my weird shit and not dwell on everything. I got to relax and binge-watch some movies in my pajamas since I somehow got lucky enough to have the house to myself.

The pesky Sokolov brothers ended up having to handle more than they expected tonight and left me to enjoy myself in peace. I’m smiling comfortably as I take myself back down the curved staircase to get myself another water bottle, when I hear a noise.

What the fuck? No one is supposed to be here.

I panic and look around for some sort of weapon and I’m annoyed when I only see a golf club casually leaning in the corner near the front door.

Top-notch security measures here.

I grab the club and hold it over my shoulder as I stalk slowly toward the noise. It seems like it’s coming from that freaky room Maxim led me in.

Pleasefor the love of everything holy, don’t let there be some psycho left handcuffed to the table in there.

Against my better judgment I open the door slowly, walking down the steps as quietly as possible when I see a man looking through a file cabinet.