Page 8 of Made to Be

For good measure, I waited another ten minutes for anything, any reaction, any sign of life. Eventually, Jinx flew down from my shoulder to sit curiously on the corpse’s unmoving chest.

There was nothing.

It... hadn’t worked.

I couldn’t deny that I was disappointed. Okay, understatement. But I was used to disappointment. It had followed me around throughout every stage of my life: high school, mage university, my assortment of part-time jobs, my family, my relationships…

And me? Well, I was just a sad little hopeless romantic who always fell far too quickly for the wrong guys.

As proven by my dating history which included – but wasn’t limited to – douchebag jocks, arrogant self-centered assholes, possessive controlling jerks, and snobby rich boys. Just to name a few. Honestly, I had given up on the dating scene after too close of a run in with the possessive one. My last ex, Ron, well, Byron. I had given up hope that I could ever find a smart, handsome, funny, kind man to love me. To want me.

I kept wondering if maybe I had always been the problem. Maybe I was too picky, too cynical, too high maintenance, just... too much.

On top of it all, I was socially awkward. A magic nerd my whole life, even as a fully grown-ass adult. I basically lived in my romantasy novels and spellbooks and experiments, secluding myself from the outside world like the recluse I was. Except at my job, but that came with the territory as a professor.

I knew my appearance wasn’t at fault. Beneath the glasses, I was at least mildly attractive with classically handsome features and curly brown hair. My skin was a little pasty from my time hibernating indoorslike I was allergic to the sun, and I was leanly built; not muscular but not gangly. My nose was a little too long and my ears stuck out a bit, but I wasn’t particularly vain, so those things didn’t matter to me all that much.

But still, my dates would always cringe when I brought out the nerd jokes or movie references or borderline obsessive interest in magic. It seemed it was my personality they all had a problem with.

I had come to learn the hard way that talking to people, dating, was too exhausting. So, why try when it always ended in painful disaster anyway?

Alice had told me not to think that way, optimistic as ever. That if I closed myself off to the possibilities, I’d never know what I might miss. But I couldn’t help it.

And this was the final nail in the coffin.

It was fitting to use such a pessimistic analogy. A love letter to my life.

With that, I let out a long, heavy sigh, and snuffed out the candles with a defeated wave of my hand.

“Get some rest, Jinx,” I told him. “Thanks, buddy.”

He gave me a sad little squeak before he flew away, his body fading into the shadows. With a final, longing look at the corpse, I turned and trudged up the stairs. I didn’t bother cleaning up the mess or trying to figure out what to do with the body tonight. I was suddenly too exhausted to care.

I set the mage-locks around the house and made my way to bed to change and burrow beneath the blankets like the pathetic, lonely fool that I was. I was feeling especially bad for myself so I put on the saddest, most depressing song I could think of to be the soundtrack to my pity party. The blackened ceiling held my vacant gaze for a long time before my brain shut off and I finally fell asleep.

***

My heart thudded violently as I jolted awake, eyes blinking rapidly against the darkness. Suddenly hyperaware of... something.

I clicked the button on the side of my phone to see the time and,

“God damnit, it’s two in the fucking morning.” I grumbled as I scrubbed my hand down my face and rubbed my tired eyes.

I froze when a soft echo sounded. With my ears straining, nothing followed, so I wrote it off as the house settling or the ghost wandering about. It did like to do that at night. When I heard it again, louder and more pointed, my breath caught as my body grew stiff as a board. The creak of slow, heavy footsteps on the old floorboards in the hallway caused my heart to begin racing.

Had someone broken in?I mentally panicked.What do I do? What do they want? I don’t have anything of value, I swear! I live off a teacher’s salary!

The whine of the bedroom door opening had me clutching the blankets to my chin. Those footsteps stalled for a second before picking back up.

In the darkness of the room, I couldn’t see anything. But I heard them. They were aiming for the bed. For me.

Shit, shit, shit…

The thin stream of moonlight leaking through my blackout curtains managed to illuminate the shadowed figure as they approached. Fear had me frozen in place. Damn my faulty fight-or-flight response! I didn’t move. I played dead. If I didn’t move, maybe they wouldn’t see me.

Wait, no, that was a thing with dinosaurs.

The figure stopped at the edge of my bed. The dark blob grew bigger as they leaned over me, their breaths heavy and labored.