Page 83 of Rest In Knotty Pieces

It’s not. It's not, and I’m being so selfish.

For the first time in years, I wish I had the ability to talk. I wish I could tell him how I feel and ask him those millions of questions. I wish I could say I was sorry.

I struggle free and hold up a hand, stopping them when they advance towards me. I shake my head, my eyes filling with tears that spill over.

I tap my chest.

“I don’t care if they want you, they aren’t having you,” Blaze snarls in a voice that would scare anyone.

I point angrily at all of them and draw a line across my throat, then shake my head furiously.

“I’m not afraid of death,” Sage says in a low voice. “And I’m not afraid to fight.”

I shake my head and hit my chest again.

“At this point, Merle, it doesn’t matter what you want. None of us is letting our scent-matched omega die.”

I lift my hand slowly and point at Pix, daring them to argue with me.

Pix throws his head back and laughs, and he looks so beautiful and so brave, and I know he’s the one who is supposed to be here. Not broken me.

“Yeah, we got lucky, and we have two. But just because we have two!” Blaze says as he advances on me, fury in every line of his body. “Doesn’t mean one is expendable or less than the other.”

I stare at him. His nose is almost touching mine, his fierce eyes glaring, holding me captive; his long, elegant fingers are wrapped around my jaw. He’s got the surprising strength of a protective bear, the predatory instincts of the wolves that howl in the distant hills, and the grace of the soaring eagles.

He and Pix are a perfect match.

I need help to walk and can no longer talk. Surely, he can see how much he needs an omega who suits him?

His fingers tighten as if he can hear my thoughts. “I’m not giving you up,” he whispers. “Get used to it. The minute you were carried over the threshold of my home, I knew you were never going anywhere. It is the same as I felt when I saw him. I knew I had to have you both. You belong to me.”

He sounds insane, but it’s not scary. If anything, his possessiveness is comforting. His words hit me hard, falling deep into my splintered landscape, and reach all the parts of me.

His declaration emblazons itself on my soul and becomes a core memory, a moment that changes me, though I’m not sure how.

I open my mouth, but no sound comes out.

He drops his face to mine and kisses me hard. Our teeth clash together, his tongue invades my mouth, but I’m too busy memorizing the texture of his lips,the feel of them, the taste of him to kiss him back. His lips are his and as singular as a fingerprint. I will always know them. I will always know his kiss.

And crave it, I realise instantly.

One touch, and it’s a habit, an addiction, a need. He’s as vital to me as air, more than my voice, more than my life. I need his touch, his kiss.

I stare up at him, stunned as he pulls away, his gaze searching mine before he turns to Pix.

“Come here.”

“Don’t tell me what to do,” Pix snarls back.

Rolly laughs. “They are so damn adorable.” But he watches me closely.

“He’s right, you know,” Sage whispers. “Both of them are right. You and Pix belong to us now.”

I don’t answer him, but I half turn away, though I keep my eyes on him.

“He’s right that we all knew the moment we laid eyes on you. There was no walking away. Scent matches are too rare. It was a compulsion, it was biology, but it’s more than that now, Merle. I know you. You are sweet and funny, inquisitive and so deep. You don’t like to see anyone hurting, and you don’t like to hurt people. You are a beautiful omega. So, now you are more than just our scent match.” He shakes his head and looks down at the forest. It’s just a black mass of trees from here, but down there, I know how easily we could get lost. How easily I could get lost. “You are my Merle, and there is a spot in my heart that belongs to you.”

I reach out, squeezing his hand. Hating my life, hating that I’m going to have to hurt them. Hating that I will die and leave them.