Page 161 of Rest In Knotty Pieces

She was the delicate little blue robin. And he broke her wings.

I stare at the spot, seeing the past, ignoring the way he jostles me, ignoring the way the pain splinters and threatens to collapse the world around me.

“There’s no one here but me,” I whisper, but my voice shakes. I’m scared, and it’s clear as day.

It seems to please Brian. He grins wide, gets a little bounce in his step.

“Yes, it was a trap. The live was just a recording of a live. He wants them, but you are who he really wanted.”

A trap. Idiot, he thinks I don’t already know.

I lift my gaze and stare into his eyes. He looks away first and then, with a huff, retreats from the room, leaving me alone.

Staring at the past, wishing again that I’d had the strength to be able to save her, just once. There’s no point trying to get away. There’s never a way out.

“You are the blue robin, and I am the blue jay. I didn’t forget you. I haven’t forgotten our promise. You didn’t die for nothing. I won’t let you.”

A sound draws my attention back to the here and now. It’s not time yet.

I flee before I make everything a thousand times worse.

Raven

Ihang in the chains, but when I see him step into the doorway, I know it’s going to be a very bad day. His black gloves are on, the ones he wears when he’s trying to hide the blood. The ones he puts on when he’s going to take his time.

I’m sorry.Every fucking thing went wrong. Everything. Raptor’s stupid note. I had to change some details to send them somewhere safe, but just breaking through long enough to do that and put the note on the pillow took a full war to achieve.

But things really went wrong with Pix. It was their panic when they thought Pix was taken that fucked us up. We had a chance up until that moment. It overrode everything else, all logic, all sense of reason. It was purely instinctual fear.

I tried to gain control, but I couldn’t break through. Not when they came here all heroic and trying to be noble. And not when they heard the video. They just locked me out.

Five years.

Five years of plans, undone because my alters panicked over losing someone they cared about.

I could cry, except it would make him happy.

Brian wasn’t meant to be here either. It’s unusual for Father to bring him to places like this. Somewhere in this place, a dead body will be sitting, waiting to be discovered or displayed. That’s why he’s here tonight. Killing.

Five years of plans up in smoke on the back of the fear that one omega is in trouble.

Five fucking years.

I will never have him. Never have happiness. Never be able to love them.

“You have been gone for fifteen months, Merelee. Where have you been, you naughty girl?”

I shudder.

My landscape shudders, but we all go to our spots, our thrones, all of us preparing for what we can’t escape. We know the drill.

We know how to survive what he’s going to do to us.

In my head, I can hear Dove start to scream.

“What did you think you were doing?” he asks. “You have a lot to make up for.”

His voice always surprises me. It’s a nice voice, calm and mellow. He sounds like he could be your neighbour, your family friend, or an uncle. He sounds like he laughs a lot.