Page 117 of Rest In Knotty Pieces

Rolly was so intent on the game that my sudden shout has him halfway across the room before he registers what I’ve actually said.

He scratches his head, looking at King and Blaze. “Uh, yes. Why?”

“I just…I didn’t, I don’t have a lot of information the others have, and it was passed to me, and I was surprised. I thought they were lovers.”

“They are.”

I blink at Blaze. “Okay, you’re going to have to tell me the story.”

Blaze chuckles. “Which one?”

I look around at them. “I want to hear all of them, but first. Where is the omega?”

Blaze frowns, looking at his hands. “Ah, yes. There is that. Pix is somewhere no one can reach him.”

For a while, I forget about everything; I smile and laugh and listen to them tell outrageous stories. We play games with the sound loud enough to make the couch vibrate. The food is amazing. I’m honestly having the best time.

But then, as usual, the creeping horror returns, and the agony of still being here tears me apart. I stand up as the past wraps itself around me.

“Jay?”

I look up, through tears I didn’t know I had, and find Blaze. He puts a hand on my shoulder. I shudder.

The scream starts in the past and rises through me, my chest, my soul, my heart.

His eyes soften. “Go. We’ll take care of them.”

I let out a breath, give him one second of grateful relief, and then I throw myself backwards, taking my pain, taking my memory, taking my secret. The one that consumes me.

The one that ruins me.

The one that gave me life.

Taking it back into the dark where no one but I can reach.

Rolly

Everyone is in bed, but I can’t sleep. All I can do is think. I fucked up, we all did, but I couldn’t see past Merle being gone. Spending the day with Jay today made me realise that though things will be different from how I expected them, they don’t have to be done and over. Merle isn’t gone, and Kestrel isn’t Merle. I needed to stop and get my head around it all.

And Jay…I really, really liked Jay. He was fun and intelligent, and I feel a bit like I’ve met someone I could be friends with until the day I die.

I open the door leading to the upper levels and the cabin. Blaze and Sage gave me the job of making it look lived in. So, I get to it. I turn on the TV, I sit in various chairs, moving them out and sliding them back. With bored irritation, I dirty the dishes, cook food, and dirty more dishes. I go and lie in the beds, pull out clothes. Stomp around in my shoes, change to my boots and stomp around in them. I brush my teeth and wet the other toothbrushes. I shower.

In each and every room, I wander, making it look like we’ve lived in it.

It’s boring, but it’s important to keep up appearances, and I don’t sleep much.

The movement out of the corner of my eye is so slow and confident, and I think if I were anyone else, I might have missed it.

Luckily for me, I’m me and awesome, and so I do see it.

She’s perched on the sink, her head cocked to the side, watching me intently, and she’s not someone that I know. She’s a stranger in the skin that I attribute to Merle. Excitement floods through me, making me feel like I’ve been injected with some of the drugs they used to give me when they had me locked up.

I grin and bounce towards her, stopping when she narrows her eyes. Danger flashes in the air around her like a billboard.

“You’re Raptor?”

The way she looks up and down my body, with such an open sneer of disgust, goes straight to my cock. I don’t know what it is, but there’s something about her that excites me in a way I’ve never felt before.