Page 76 of Break Me Apart
My name sounds wrong and right at the same time.
Behind him, I hear movement and then Niko’s low, tired voice from deeper inside the flat. “Who is it?”
That snaps me out of it. I step over the threshold because standing in the doorway staring at Caiden like I’ve lost mymind is only funny for so long. The flat looks exactly as I expected. Baby things in random places, the order laying over chaos, and Cassie’s absence is everywhere.
Then Niko appears in the kitchen doorway, looks at me, and exhales. “You’re back,” he says.
“I’m back.” There are too many things in the room at once. Niko is alive, but wrecked. Cassie is gone. Caiden is here. The baby is somewhere nearby, asleep if the silence means anything.
My brain can’t sort any of it in the right order.
Caiden steps back automatically to give me room, and I catch the smell of him as I pass. “You didn’t—” I start, then stop.
No version of that sentence sounds normal. You didn’t tell me. You didn’t warn me. You didn’t what? Show up in my brother’s flat looking domestic?
Caiden is watching me closely enough that it’s almost irritating.
“I was reassigned,” he says. “Six months. I didn’t know when you’d be back.”
Six months.
I nod once and put that somewhere in my head for later because if I actually start thinking about it now I’m going to end up saying something stupid in front of my brother.
Niko clears his throat. “Vladimir’s asleep,” he says. “If you want to—”
“I do,” I say straight away. He turns and leads me toward the small room at the back. I follow him without looking at Caiden again because if I do, I’m going to get stuck there.
Vladimir is asleep in the cot, one arm flung up above his head, breathing in those soft little bursts toddlers do when they’re properly out. He looks bigger than the last time I saw him. Still tiny enough to make the whole thing feel unfair.
I stand there longer than I planned to, just looking at him.
When I straighten up, Caiden is in the doorway behind me, hands shoved into his pockets like he doesn’t quite know where else to put them. Our eyes meet, and there’s too much in it straight away. Relief. Shock. The weeks apart.
“You knew?” he asks quietly.
“Yes,” I say. “I found out on exercise.” Something shifts in his face so quickly I almost miss it. Relief, mostly.
Niko rubs a hand over his face. “You should put your bag down,” he says. “You look like you’ve been carrying it for weeks.” I nod and set it down by the door.
Caiden still hasn’t moved properly away from me. He’s close enough that I can feel his body heat. The shock of finding him here hasn’t worn off yet — I don’t think it will for a while — but for the first time since I stepped back onto the base, I don’t feel quite so alone in my own head in this moment.
“Are you all right?” I ask, turning back to Niko. We all know it’s a stupid question, but I ask it anyway.
Niko looks at me for a second like he’s deciding what I’m allowed to hear. Then he nods once. “I’m all right. Just tired.”
“You should lie down,” I say.
“I’m going to. He’s settled,” he says. “If he wakes up—”
“I’ve got it,” Caiden says quietly, which catches my attention. Niko nods like that’s enough, because apparently it is. Then he looks at me properly again. “We’ll talk tomorrow,” he says. “No rush.”
“Tomorrow,” I say. Then he disappears down the short corridor without another word, and a door closes softly behind him. For a minute, Caiden and I just stand there, looking at each other. The shock is still there, but I take a slow breath and look at him properly.
He looks tired and tense even when he’s trying not to be. The crease between his brows is familiar enough that I want to smooth it out with my thumb, which is deeply inconvenient timing.
“How long?” I ask.
“Since I got back from Amsterdam,” he says. “A few days after. A week, maybe.”
