Page 52 of Feeding Hope
“I don’t think I’m being unreasonable. I haven’t even argued with you. I simply explained you can’t buy me.”
“This… relationship the two of you have… You don’t honestly think it will last, do you? Jesse’s too young to know his own mind. Look at how irrationally he acted, simply because we told him he couldn’t have something he thought he wanted.”
I stood still as a statue.
“Never once was he disobedient, insubordinate, or willful. Until he met you.”
“You can’t be any of those things and succeed in the military. The armed forces rely on men and women who can follow orders. He simply failed to follow your wishes because they were unjustifiable to him.”
“You’ve deprived him of opportunities that should be his.”
For just a moment, I felt a pang. Jesse had given up everything, basically, to be with me. College. Money. Privilege. His family. While he never said so, I knew going no contact with them hurt, even if they were people he didn’t want to associate with. Despite it, some part of him still loved his parents and held onto what were fond, if not happy, memories from before his connection to me.
Now I felt real anger bubble up. However, I stamped the emotion down, knowing it would do me no favors to lose my temper with him, or even show how his pettiness affected me. It would only give him ammunition for when he eventuallyapproached Jesse with some sort of similar offer, because I knew he would. Men, like his father, thought everyone had a price.
“Mr. Forbes, you cannot buy me. At any price,” I repeated. “I love Jesse, and Jesse loves me. We may not have all of his ‘opportunities’ you and your money can provide him with, but he has new doors open to him. Ones which are fulfilling his needs.”
“He’s not meant to live this kind of life.”
“This kind of life?” I asked. “A life filled with purpose? A life where he picks the future he wants instead of one he felt obligated to live? He’s happy, Mr. Forbes. We’re happy. Together.”
“But you’re not together, Miss Mewes. Your lives are quite distant right now, and distance has a tendency to weaken even the strongest of bonds. He’ll be lacking companionship where he’s stationed, and there will be other women surrounding him who will be more than happy to fulfill his needs while you’re apart. You don’t strike me as a woman who would suffer infidelity.”
And now I hit nuclear level. My filter turned off. “You think so little of your son that you believe he’ll be unfaithful to me, simply because we’re separated by distance?”
“It’s inevitable. Do you honestly believe soldiers are faithful to their wives?”
“I’m not concerned with other Marines.” I emphasized the last word. Marines were not soldiers. They didn’t refer to themselves that way. They held themselves more elite, more unique than that. “I’m only concerned with Jesse, and I think I know him much better than you do. Truthfully? I think you know it too. I think you’re trying to scare me, make me feel insecure, cause me to panic and bolt. It won’t happen. I. Know. Him.”
The muscle in his jaw developed a tic, and his teeth clenched in frustration.
“I know my son. He will eventually come to realize that he made a mistake. You will too. Without his money and position, Jesse is no longer the meal ticket someone like you wanted, and you will move onto something better once you find it.”
I saw the raw emotion behind his words. In his own way, he missed his son. I couldn’t fault him for that, although his methods of pulling him back into the family were despicable.
“Would you offer a woman who lived with Jamie the same package deal?”
“Jamie is not the issue here. I’m dealing with Jesse.”
In other words, no. Jamie had always been a wild child. They expected behavior like this from him, and they would throw their hands up in the air over it. They wouldn’t fight it, even if they berated him for it. Jamie made so much sense to me now.
“I love your son, and he loves me,” I repeated. “It’s not your place to interfere.”
With force, he propelled himself to the door, opened it, then whipped around to face me. “Think long and hard, Miss Mewes. This offer won’t be available forever. You have a week to make your decision. Make the correct one.”
He slammed the door in his wake, and I could hear his angry footfalls as he headed toward the elevator.
The envelope lay on the kitchen table like a poisonous snake. There was no way I was going to open it. The money was not a temptation, and I would never take it.
Regarding the rest of what Jesse’s father said, insecurity hit me. Was I depriving Jesse of opportunities he could have had? Would he be better off without me in his life? Was I simply someone he felt responsible for? Was holding onto him being selfish?
I shook my head, trying to clear myself of the sudden doubt. No, Jesse loved me. Yes, he felt responsible, but because of his love, not out of pity or some other misguided emotion. And Iloved him. Totally. Unmotivated by anything other than the fact that he filled my heart with everything good and true.
My years of adulting long before being of legal age should have benefited me. Was I scared to do all of this on my own? Yes. Did it ever occur to me not to follow through? No, I could do this.
The envelope would stay where it was. Unopened. Ignored. When Mr. Forbes came back and saw it untouched, he’d realize it was unwanted. However, I knew he could spin its presence to Jesse as something I accepted if it was physically here.
I needed to tell him.
