Page 27 of Sincerely, Butterfly

“I don’t know.” Dad looks at me through the review mirror.

“Oh, Toren. It’s her graduation night. Let her go out and celebrate,” Mom playfully chastises him. “She will be safe and responsible. Right, Nola?”

“Of course.” I nod.

“And no drinking, right?”

“No drinking.” I shake my head.

“See? She’s a good kid. She’ll be fine.”

Famous last words.

CHAPTER

SIX

NOLA

“What does one wear to a party?”I ask Skittles as I face my closet. There's not much in here to choose from, and the clothes that I do have wouldn’t fit this kind of occasion.

There are a few sundresses, but they would just add to the incorrect view the guys have of me. I’m not some modest woman.

“What about this?” I pull a tank top off the rack and hold it up to Skittles. He’s sitting on his perch, watching me. He cocks his head to the side, and I sigh. “I know, I know.”Guess we’re not going with the bright yellow crop top.“Then what?” I grumble, hastily moving hangers to the side, trying to find something that isn’t there.

I stop on a plain white crop top and hold it in front of myself as I think it over. Normally, I don’t wear white since it tends to be too see-through and shows off my bra. But maybe this party would be the right place to wear it? Pair it with my ripped jeans and black combat boots, and it could be a fit.

Pulling the shirt from the hanger, I swap it with the one I’m currently wearing, then grab my jeans from the bottom drawer of my dresser.

“Hope they still fit,” I pray aloud. It’s been years since I’ve worn real pants.

It’s not that I don’t have other clothes to wear besides hoodies and leggings, I just hate the attention I get when I do. I can hide in my overly large sweaters, which makes life feel safer. I know I can’t hide myself forever, though, especially not from these guys. I want their attention, I want them to see me for who I really am.

I guess this is a start.

“What about this?” I ask Skittles once I’m dressed, spinning around to face him, so he can see my entire outfit.

He tosses his head back, making a clinking sound, and I smile.

“Then this is what I’m going with.” I nod.

Not one to really do much with my hair, I give it a good brushthrough. It’s naturally straight, and I think it looks fine as it is. I do, however, apply a bit of mascara and some pink lip gloss.

“Perfect.” I smile at myself in the mirror. “Alright, Skittles, you ready to go?”

Tonight is a casual mission, so there is no need to strap the camera to him. Plus, I have my phone with me; I’ll use that to take any photos I need.

Skittles lets out a sound of agreement. “Can’t forget this.” I grab my blade from the dresser and shove it into my back pocket.

You never know when you're going to need to protect yourself. And after the incident with Mr. Robinson, I’ll never be too safe.

“I’m heading out now. I shouldn’t be back too late,” I call out, letting Mom know as I head for the front door.

“Have fun, sweetie! Be safe. Don’t get into trouble.” She laughs as if that would be the last thing I’d do.

For her sake, I’ll let her believe that.

It’s not that I wouldn’t do things that could get me into trouble, it’s just that I haven’t found something that would make it worth it if I were to get caught.