Page 108 of Sincerely, Butterfly

“I do. But like stepbrothers. You know. Not blood, but also still off limits.”

“I don’t know, I think the stepbrother thing is hot.” I shrug. “If one of them were my stepbrother, I’d fuck them.”

“Are you telling me you think I should want them because they’re my stepbrothers but not my actual brothers?”

“What?” My eyes widen. “No!” I shake my head. “We’re so off base. What I’m saying is I lost my virginity that night. To all three. I gave them my blood and everything. Have the scar to prove it.”

“Damn,” she sighs. “You know, that's real dedication. To be so in love with someone to do whatever you can to be with them. Whatever it takes.”

“That’s the plan,” I agree. “There’s no one else for me.”

“Ugh. I want that.” She pouts.

“You will have that,” I reassure her. “And it’s not going to be with Joel, or anyone else like him.”

“It’s Jonah,” Callie corrects with a chuckle.

“Whatever.” I wave her off. “You need a man who will make you his whole world. What about Garrett?”

Her eyes practically bug out of her head. “You’re fucking joking, right?” she splutters. “That man is the devil incarnate. He’s the worst. A big manwhore. No, thank you.”

“Mhhmm.” I smile. “Whatever you say.”

“Never happening, Nola.” She glares. “I hate him.”

“You know there’s nothing but a fine line between love and hate,” I tease.

“Wanna find out?” she retorts.

“Fine, fine. I’ll leave it alone. So, I’ve been meaning to ask you. Are you okay with all of this? With me being with your brother, the guys? How I’m going about doing it?”

“Of course I am. Why wouldn’t I be? I love those guys, but they’re… different. Always have been, but they started changing around thirteen, not long before I left. Now I know it’s the Brotherhood that caused it. I can only imagine the kind of things that would go on there. I always knew we lived in a sick fucked up world. Death doesn’t bother me. Bad people don’t scare me. I know I’m safe. Sylas made sure of that a long time ago. And I love him to death for it. I know that’s why he had me leave. But it didn’t shelter me from the darkness. He saw how our father treated our mother, and he despised him for it. No matter how fucked up my brother might be, he would never hurt someone he cared about, not really. Not if it weren’t something they didn’t agree to. Like whatever kinky shit they’re all into.” She wrinkles her nose.

My cheeks go red.

“God, it’s bad, isn’t it?”

“I’m not telling you,” I choke out.

“Right. Don’t wanna hear it.” She shakes her head. “Anyway, Sylas is a good man. They all are. They might be morally corrupt, but the one thing I know for sure is that they care about you. They always have. Ever since we were kids. You know how I mentioned I kind of hated you back when we were kids?

“Yes?” I say slowly, nodding my head.

She sighs, sounding a little guilty. “I’m not proud of it, but I used to hate how you got to go to the parties, while I had to stay home. My brother would come back home with a big smile on his face and tell me all the fun you guys had. Nola, Nola, Nola. I was jealous. They were my brothers, and I didn’t want to share. Not if I didn’t get to be there, too.”

“Wait. Is that why you never talked to me in school?”

She nods, a guilty look on her face. “I didn’t like how the other kids treated you, but I resented you so much that I didn’t do anything to help.”

“I get it. I’d have been the same way.”

“Really?” she asks, eyes flicking between mine. “You’re not mad?”

“No,” I laugh. “We were kids. And you got the shit end of the stick. Your dad was a monster, while my dad was one of the good ones.”

“Your dad is a serial killer.” She raises a brow. “How is he a good one?”

“You’ve met him. Tell me he’s not just a big teddy bear?” I grin.