Page 77 of Steel

“You don’t know that.”

“Yeah, I do.”

When I placed my hand on his leg, he winced. “You were sick. You wouldn’t have been any good if you were there.”

His laugh was so bitter, the sound so broken. “I wasn’t sick. I had a goddamn hangover. I was feeling sorry for myself because of a woman. A woman I’d trusted, a girl I had even considered asking to marry me. That was before I…” He threw a look into the rearview mirror, a reminder my son was in the back. “I found her with a buddy of mine in my house. She wasn’t even that upset. I trusted her. You know? We talked to each other. We knew things about each other’s lives that I thought no one else knew. I was stupid enough to think she was the one when I was just a number.”

“Oh, God. If it makes you feel any better, she doesn’t know what she’s missing.” At least my comment was met with a slight smile. I meant what I said. How could anyone do that to another person they were involved with?

“I don’t know about that, Violet. What I learned was that it’ll take a lot for me to trust someone again. Every time I ran into her in town, it was like a sledgehammer was smashed into my head from her betrayal. Another run-in and I grabbed a bottle of tequila. I’d spent the night swimming in a bottle feeling sorry for myself and because of that, my brother died. The worst part is that I haven’t told anyone. Not my parents. Not my sister. Not my brother. Not my boss. I don’t have the guts. After that, I swore I’d never allow her to bother me again. It almost worked until my brother asked me to be in this goddamn rodeo.”

“A rodeo?”

He laughed, scrubbing his face as he did. “Yeah. Axe is a true rodeo star. He was well known on the rodeo circuit until he got hurt. His now wife came back into town and got herself involved with a new stadium, setting up a benefit rodeo with proceeds going to some animal rescue sites.”

Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh… shit. “That sounds admirable.”

“Yeah, it was, but more competitors were needed. He volunteered me. Trust me. I make a shitty cowboy. But I did it because…”

“You felt guilty.”

“Exactly, at least to a point. Don’t get me wrong. It was a good thing to do and we raised a lot of money, but I ran into her with her new boyfriend. She did everything she could to make me feel like shit. At least I figured out that I’m not a relationship kind of guy.” With his elbow planted on the widow trim, he stared out the windshield and pinched his lips together. “Nothing against you, Violet, or that awesome kid of yours. He really is a great kid. But I just can’t handle being in a relationship.”

“Not to burst your bubble, but I’m not asking you to be involved in a relationship. We barely know each other.”

At least the mood was broken with a grin as he tipped his head. “You’re right. You didn’t and I have a feeling you were going to tell me the same thing. I got a strong feeling that your concern about the Jeep being torched revolves around Damon’s father. You don’t need to tell me, but I do understand what you were trying to say this morning and this afternoon. Don’t worry. We can enjoy each other’s company without feeling any pressure. Okay?”

Another oh, shit. “Look, I think I do need to tell you something.”

“I’m hungry. Can you guys talk later?”

We both looked out the driver’s window at Damon, who appeared more as a little adult than should be allowed.

Steel gripped my leg, giving it a squeeze. “We’re coming, Damon.” He waited until Damon slunk away before leaning over and taking my chin into his fingers. “What I just told you doesn’t mean we’re not going to enjoy the evening because we are. I happen to like your company a hell of a lot. Oh, and later, I have something I promised Damon. I had my dad get down the Matchbox cars. Knowing Pops, he’s made sure they’re all nicely dusted and displayed.”

“That’s so sweet.” His touch was enigmatic, burning a hole deep within my soul. Every time he touched me, I had the same reaction. Pure, unbridled desire. “I know it’s not my place to say, but until you sit down and talk with your brother and tell how you feel and what happened, you’ll never be free of the guilt.”

He immediately stiffened, pulling away and shutting down.

That was the end of the awkward discussion. He threw open the door and climbed out. I sat where I was, feeling somewhat stunned by his admission. He’d needed to share that with someone. With a heavy sigh, I leaned my head against the headrest.

A woman had betrayed him. My thoughts swirled around what I was doing. Granted, there was a huge difference in finding someone in bed with a friend at your own house and not telling him the full reason for coming to his hometown. However, I wondered if in his eyes the sense of betrayal would be the same. Especially since me being in Missoula was all about the rodeo event.

What in the hell was I going to say to him?

He leaned in through the open window, scaring the hell out of me. “Maybe now you should tell your son all the reasons why I’m nobody’s hero.”

CHAPTER 17

Steel

“What did you say?”

Sheldon nodded while wiping his greasy hands on a towel. “Electrical system sabotage.”

“Whoa. Hold on. Are you suggesting someone did this on purpose?” Violet moved closer to the two of us after standing and staring at what was left of her Jeep.

“It’s possible. Of course it’s a little difficult to tell now. I could be wrong.”