Page 54 of Property of Gray

“Good. I hope you mean that.”

“Why would you say that to me?”

“Because maybe you’ll go find someone else to make fucking miserable and leave me the hell alone.”

“You never touch me.”

“My God, woman. You’re exhausting. I don’t fuck you because I’m fucking other women who aren’t getting fat.”

“I knew it. I knew you were fucking around on me.”

“I don’t try to hide it.”

“You know what, Gray? I’m done. I don’t want you to come back tonight.”

“Fucking finally. Now you get it.”

“You’re a miserable bastard who is going to end up alone.”

“Do you ever think that’s what I’m aiming for?” I laugh without humor. “Call me when the kid is born for the DNA test.”

“You’d feel real bad if something happened to me and this baby.”

“You should have had an abortion.”

She grabs a knife from the counter and lunges at me. I grab her by the wrist and knock it away. “Are you done?”

“You’re never going to love us, are you?”

“The kid? I’ll try. You? Nope. Never going to happen.”

“I tried to stab you.” She stares between us at the knife on the floor. “I can’t keep doing this.” She cries, and I pat her back.

Fuck my life. Fuck this crazy cunt.

“I think I’m going to spend some time at my parent’s.”

“You probably should.” She steps back and I look at her stomach. Guilt hits me square in the chest. She’s carrying my child, and I keep upsetting her. All this fighting can’t be good for the baby.

I truly am no better than my father. I remember all the screaming and fighting between him and my mother. He was always fucking around behind her back and spending all their money on booze and lottery tickets.

This kid deserves better than me.

Better than this.

“I don’t think you should see me at all anymore. I’ll pay child support, but I’m not cut out to be a father.”

“What?”

“All we do is make each other miserable. What kind of life is that? Who in their right mind would bring a kid into this?”

“I love you.”

“No, you don’t. You loved the idea of me, but not who I really am.”

“This isn’t who you are. You didn’t treat Willow like this.”

“What are you talking about?”